Buck Buck Buck

The label on the feed sack said "Deer Corn," but apparently the deer don't know this product exists.  So basically we're shelling out the dough to feed our free range chickens.  I don't think a mounted chicken head would have the same effect that a 12 point Boone and Crockett would...even if it were a rooster...with a freak comb.  

A Shoe In

Isn't she beautiful?  This is the newest member of the family.  She came home with us on Thanksgiving day.  We thought of calling her "Macy" (like the parade) but so far we only call her "Kitty," "Pretty Kitty"...and, on occassion, "Brat Cat" (this would be when she does things like climb up our Christmas tree and shake it until everything falls down and breaks...or when she climbs up into a potted plant and kicks all of the dirt out of it).   But, who could get mad at her?  Not me!  I just love her!!!  It all started when we got Snickers (my first cat) and I fell in love.  Now I have an extra soft spot for this little one.  I snapped the above picture of Kitty as she was circling around and around desperately trying to snuggle into my shoe. 

Snug as a Roo in a Robe

That’s my little Roo…content as can be… nestled in my clean, white, plush, robe…on my bed…even thought she isn’t allowed there anymore since I bought a new bedspread.  Oh the pleasures of the forbidden!  She makes me think about all of the times I wasn’t allowed to do certain things…but did them anyway…only to feel remorse and ultimately only wanted to wrap myself in the loving arms of my mother…the bestest most safest place in the world.

The Usual Suspects

With my son out of town on a hunting trip the duty of caring for the chickens falls to yours truly.  I suppose I should get our local meteorologist's cell number because I can usually predict the weather with ease...you see...every single time I have to spend some time in the chicken coop the weather is extremely wet or extremly freezing.  Yesterday morning it was in the 20s!  So, before I so much as poured the first cup of coffee of the day, I am outside with my pajama pants tucked into my rubber boots feeding the masses.  Imagine my surprise when I opened the lid of the toolbox we use to house all of the feed and discovered my long lost mixing bowl, kitchen knife, and dishwashing gloves...the ones with the leopard design on them (obviously one must look fashionable when scraping the floor of the coop).  Such is the life of a mother of a son.  But, he is not the only borrower  in the house.  In my daughter's room one can find items such as: tweezers, hairspray, fingernail clippers, eyeshadows and fingernail polish....all of the things that at one time originated in my bathroom.  Apparently what is mine is theirs...or rather the chickens in my son's case.  I have deduced that since girls generally don't hang out in the barn with power tools they tend to seek out beauty tools instead.  And when they find them they like to keep them within close proximity in the event that an emergency should arise...such as a stray eyebrow hair or a chipped nail.  I have also deduced that since boys are not huge fans of cleanliness but instead prefer to eat, their favorite place to pilfer is naturally the kitchen.  So, in the end, I have concluded that the crimes were committed in both the bathroom and the kitchen...by Colonel Mustard and Miss Scarlet, a.k.a. my son and my daughter.

The Chicks Dig Justin Bieber

Baby Baby Baby...Ohhh! Bieber fever has reached our coop!  It seems that at least one of our chickens has adopted Justin's famous do.  This rooster can be seen flipping his head up and over to the side in an effort to get his hair...er...comb out of his eyes all day long.  I've even been able to sneak up on him from the right side without him even knowing I'm there.  So far I've only heard him crowing a "normal" crow...but if and when he starts to belt out a tune you can bet I'll bet the first to post it on You Tube! 

Got Calcium?

Just the other day my son brought me a "shell-less" egg.  I had never ever seen anything like it before...I hadn't even heard of such a thing, and yet...there it was.  He told me that it was the third one he had collected over the course of a few weeks.  It turns out it is from some of our younger chickens who are laying for the first time.  I was too chicken to "crack" it open...so we just kept it in the fridge and gently poked it every now and then.  I couldn't help but to wonder "what if?"  What if he had not collected it...could a chick survive in there?  What exactly was in there?  It had the textue and consistency of a saline implant and yet whenever you left it alone it maintained its "egg" shape. 

This got me thinking about our own shells.  Those tough exteriors we hide behind.  When really we are just all mushy on the inside.  We still maintain who we are when no one is making jabs at us.  We are able to just "be."  But all too often we don't let others see that softer side of us.  So afraid of being labeled a "chicken" we allow our shells to get harder and harder...until one day...we crack.  And that's when it all comes out.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  We literally drain ourselves of all that was meant to be.  So, instead of worrying about what others might think of us...our time would be better spent if we made sure our shells were a little more translucent and soft...enabling not only others to see through to us, but allowing us to see through to them.  Note:  I have a shell of my own and while I certainly don't want it to harden any more than necessary...I am going to be drinking a ton of milk just to be on the safe side!

Trick or Tweet?

This morning I overheard a conversation between two young teens:

“I’m just going to buy a bag of candy.”


“Why?! It’s Halloween! You can get FREE candy!”


“Yeah…but you have to walk all around.”

I have heard that we, as a nation, are extremely lazy…and I guess the above exchange is valid proof. Sure, the girls are getting to the age where it’s more about the social aspect of it all rather than becoming a princess for the night. But even so…the very thought that it is too much work to have to walk up and down a block to receive candy, when all you really have to do is rip open an entire bag and eat it while vicariously experiencing Halloween via Facebook and Twitter, is becoming the norm for our youth.

So, if your doorbell does not ring and you’re left with a huge cauldron of candy at the end of the night don’t fret, just log on to your computer and chomp down on your treats while you read all your tweets! Happy Halloween!

Give Me A Break!

Since my last posting I have been to either the emergency room, a hospital room, an imaging room, a specialist's room, an athletic trainer's room, or a sports injury room.  Fortunately I was not the one being wheeled in, examined, x-rayed, splinted, iced, or casted.  Unfortunately it was my mother and my son.  Between my mom who has her left foot in a boot and my son who broke his middle finger and injured his back I seem to have this doctor office thing down.  I almost have my insurance number memorized.  Before all of the bone breaking I had an unfortunate break to the front end of my car...(apparently I didn't brake fast enough).  Between deductibles and co-pays I am spent.  I don't even know how I've managed to fit it all in.  But, somehow, when I think I don't have any time to myself I find myself sitting in a waiting room for hours.  What  cruel and twisted irony.  Events of this nature never really play themselves out when I am not accountable for my time.  Nope.  These things only happen sometime between when I leave my house before 7 a.m. and return home after 7 p.m.  These things only occur when I am committed to (i.e. forced to) attend an after hours meeting or function.  These things only present themselves when I am the stressed out working mother of two teens who need to be home so they can do their homework but can't get there because I'm the one who has to drive them to and from the practices and games and functions that cause bodily injury to them in the first place thus setting into action the need to miss more school so they can go to the doctor ultimately ending up in missed assignments and more homework that we are never home to do.  In fact, I think it needs to be called "carwork."  There...I feel better.  (Part of me just feels better because I didn't even care if an english professor got hives while reading that run-on sentence! So there!).  The other part of me feels better just to get all of that hostility out of my system.  That's the thing about this fast-paced world...sooner or later things break....and the only way to fix them is to find a safe haven and hole up for a while.  And that is exactly what I am doing right now.  I am home alone (cue the angelic chorus) with all of the things that bring me joy.  It is dark outside with only an amber glow down below.  There is no other sound other than the tapping of the keyboard and the whir of my computer.  That is how I heal. 

My son's cast is off and he is at an out of town football game with a friend...how healing is that? 

21st Sentry

Well...this is it...the final farewell...the curtain call...the end...of my summer break, aka "the time in my life when I am calm, relaxed, spontaneous, and can go without makeup".  Gone are the days of sleeping in...I must say adios to all things unhurried.  But, before I start boo hooing into my morning cup of coffee, I must say that work does have its advantages...mainly getting to see my colleagues...my friends...every day.  Much like the kids who are gearing up to go back to school (to see their friends), I am looking forward to the relationship part of it all.  The homework part...nah...not so much.  Each year at this time I stop and reflect...much like one does on January 1...about how this year I'm going to be more organized, have more patience, get enough sleep, etc., etc., etc. But the adult in me knows that deep down no matter how much I try to do all of the above...well...let's just say "life steps in."  Even so I am determined to take things a little more slowly.  I have such an appreciation for the "good old days"...a time when life was "simpler."  As our world and surroundings speed forward "into the future" I have decided that, while I plan on keeping up with all of the progress, I am going to do what I can to be ever watchful of how I spend my days.  Yes, I love my itouch and my cell phone and my computer.  Sure, I have mastered texting and dabbled in skyping.  I rely on emailing and troubleshooting and downloading.  All of those things are wonderful and they have made my life a little easier in many ways.  But this year I plan on relying heavily on enjoying and simply being.  As I stand guard and watch out for all that is coming ahead I still want to remain in touch with all that once was. 

Monkeying Around

This is the sight that greeted me when I came home today after leaving the kids home alone while I was at work.  Tonight I am writing out a detailed list of chores that absolutely must be completed before they can burn their stuffed animals at the stake.  Meanwhile, the kitchen showed signs of use as well.  I had to resist the strong urge to wipe up and wash out...after all...I wanted to have something for the little darlings to do tomorrow when I leave them alone again.  See, that's the "fun" of going to work...you never know what surprises await you once you return home.  It was so "exciting" to find mystery stains on the couch pillows and such a "joy" to notice how many pots and pans had been used in a single day.  I especially liked discovering that honey was a part of lunch today.  So now I'm left wondering which is better:  having to monitor every single move your toddler makes...or being completely unaware of your teenager's activities.  Yes, I know, "good" parents know everything their teen is up to....but still....ignorance is bliss!!

Friends Unearthed

I recently had the pleasure of visiting the home of a dear friend of mine.  This lady is just that...a lady...in every sense of the word.  Her home was a true reflection of the genuine and elegant nature she exudes in person.  Her private and personal world felt welcoming and real...and I love that in a person as well as in a home.  Through the years I've been blessed with a group of women to surround myself with.  It has been said that you become like the five people you hang around with the most...and if that proves itself true then I am in great company! 

My friend's home got me thinking about who we really are at our core.  Who we are when no one else is looking.  Home has always been a refuge for me...the place I long to be more than anywhere else.  I have a sign hanging in my house that says, "Surround Yourself With Things You Love," and to me, that includes our friends.  I am extremely fortunate in the fact that I get to work with and interract with these wonderful ladies every day.  This leads me to believe that these women were placed in my life for a reason.  Each of us has our own passions and quirks and each of us loves the other for them.  With each passing year our group learns more and more about the other; and as each layer of our persona is unearthed we becomre more and more exposed for who we truly are.  As both the years and the layers have passed by and peeled away we have only grown closer and loved deeper.  My dear friends...you are my home and I love you all.

Doctor's Orders

Took the kids to get their yearly physicals in order for them to participate in athletic events for the upcoming school year...and get this: the doctor told my daughter that it was okay to eat salty foods prior to and after exerting herself!! Something about low blood pressure and ??? I can't remember...all I heard was "salt." I can still recall the moment when my own doctor prescribed a glass of red wine every night.  First wine now salt....can life get any better than this?  When I get a prescription for chocolate you'll be the first to know!!

Closed for Nesting

I have just spent the night alone IN MY OWN HOME!!!  The family had been farmed out to various locations and I was the one who got to stay put!! Hee Hee...I'm so giddy I'm frozen to the spot.  I know that this time is precious but also fleeting.  The clocks are spinning way too quickly around here...I'm running out of time!!  I am trying to "relax" and enjoy the solitude but at the same time I'm wanting to be productive.  I'm trying to cram in a lifetime of wants in a short amount of time.  Yesterday I had a dear friend over and we were able to catch up, laugh, and visit uninterrupted....I know! WEIRD!!!! It was amazing!  After she left I could immediately feel the heaviness of the blanket of quiet that fell upon me.  Should I watch a movie of my choice? Nah...don't want to "waste my time" sitting and staring for 2 hours.  Maybe I could write a little...nope...have nothing to say since my day went without chaos.  I know...I'll read....nope....that'll only make me tired.  Bath?  Wine?  Organize?  Exercise?  Okay...delirium was obviously starting to seep in (organize?!...exercise?!) So I ended up doing what any busy mom with time to herself would do...I went to bed early...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BED with my hands and feet touching all four corners....and I slept all night long!  It was glorious!!

Tired

Spent some time outdoors watching a flat tire being changed...ugh!  It scared me to think that the last time that I actually loosened a lug nut was back when I was forced to during a driver's ed class in high school.  Sure, I know that I could if I absolutely had to....but...ugh!  Especially on a day like today when just standing outside and not even moving resulted in sweat actually beading and dripping down my body...it was like a sauna...the stifling kind...the "you are going to suffocate and die if you don't rush out of here and into an air conditioned building" kind of stifling...ugh!  Just the thought of having to lie down ON THE GROUND even if it were on a blanket, and exert oneself FOR THE SAKE OF CHANGING A TIRE!!!! UGH!  You see, I hate to be the "typical woman" and expect a guy to change my tire...but....well.....they are just so good at it!

Squawk Box

Me: (in sweet voice) “Don’t forget to pick up all of your things around the house and take them to your room.”

Them: “---“

Me: (in whiney voice) “You need to get all of your stuff out of here.”

Them: “---“

Me: (in sharp tone) “I’ve already asked you several times to clean up…I want this mess picked up!”

Them: “we will.”(as they exit premises)

Me: (noting the entire contents of my bedroom drawers stacked in towering and teetering piles up the staircase) "AAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!" (then I exit the premises)

For me summer is all about the opportunity to slow things down...to work on all of the projects I fantasize about completing "when I have time."  Project #1 is usually always the purging of junk in an effort to streamline and simplify life when I'm back at work.  The hard part about all of this is the fact that I don't necessarily want to spend my time off cleaning.  But then again I don't want to spend my time on cleaning either.  Truth be told: I don't want to clean-period!  Nevertheless I spent a couple of days taking all of the things I have squirreled away in my bedroom and have decided to squirrel them away in the loft (I never truly get rid of anything...I just move it from one room to another).  The method here is to stuff as much schtuff as you can in the one room most people are never likely to visit.  So, after this afternoon I should at least have a cleaner bedroom.  The loft will be cleaned next summer when I bring everything back down and cram it into my bedroom.

...and sat down beside her...

Just in case you've never been "fortunate" enough to see a black widow spider up close and personal I thought I'd show you a picture of the one that fell from grace onto my glass top patio table out on the porch yesterday.  The spider is on its back so you can see the tell-tale red hourglass marking on its abdomen.....creepy!  But having lived in the country all of my life I don't know what bothers me more...the spider or the dusty smears on the glass? 

Ta-Dah!

"Thank You....Thank You Very Much!  I'm so glad you have been enjoying my crowing practice every single crack of dawn morning of your summer vacation!" 

Ahh...livin' the country life!  Some people actually leave the convenience of the city to spend the weekend in the "peace and quiet."  Oh sure, it's quiet here...relatively speaking.  I sleep with earplugs every night and I can still hear the roosters' crows, the cicadas' songs, and the peeping of the peepers.  But these "noises" are very soothing and remind me that nature is "alive" all around me...even when things appear to be still.  It is nice to sit outside and hear the whir and zip of a hummingbird...the skitter and scratch of a tree lizard...the whistle and snort of a doe who saw you before you saw her.  There is truly something magical about living out in the country...about not seeing another human for days on end.  My country home affords me the luxury of solitude and reflection.  At home I am able to watch and learn from the animals who teach me something new every day.  Sure, the crowing contests outside can be a bit annoying (especially when they take place around 4 a.m.) but they can also be comforting as well.  In fact...they remind me of my own brood...the ones who scratch and peck...strut and crow...sleep and eat.  The ones who are starting to venture out a little farther from their coop with each passing day....but who, at least for now, return to their home nest every night.

Bullet List

A bullet list my day:


• Got allergy shots

• Reacted to allergy shots

• Played “I Spy” with police cars (kind of like "Slug Bug"...but without the slugging)

• Got pulled over by a police car (he just wanted to "give me some 'advice')

• Dropped off junk @the thrift store

• Bought more junk @the thrift store

• Took son to the cardiologist

• Took daughter to look at paint samples

• Paid a bill @a department store

• Bought more stuff @the same department store

• Tried to return a broken product

• Was told product worked “just fine” (when tested in the back room)

• Was welcomed at Cici’s Pizza

• Was thanked for visiting Cici’s Pizza

• Debated having a glass of wine after allergist gave me prednisone

• Decided if I was going to have another reaction I’d rather it be to wine

Yes, all of these things happened to me in one single day. Sorry to leave out the interesting parts.

Anybody Home?

Now this sounds like my kind of place!!  I couldn't help but to visualize a wrought-iron staircase spiralling down beneath the street's surface.  A kind of "cobwebby" kind of place....complete with an oddly quiet front desk manager.  The kind of place where all sounds of the "outside world" are completely muffled and you get the intense feeling that, even though you are the only one in the whole place....you are not as alone as you think.  A place where keys are unneccessary because the walls can't contain the spirits who serve you.  But if you are brave enough to stay...you eventually discover the lever to the hidden staircase in the wine cellar....and that's where you find a colorful and lively party of nobody's living it up!

"I Cry For Happy!"

This one's for all "my girls" out there!  (You know who you are!)  I miss the laughter...the "you had to be there" moments.  Being off work for the summer has its perks, don't get me wrong....but the women I work with...share my day to days with....well I miss them....terribly!  There is something to be said about comaradarie...especially among women.  Now that I am a part of the community of women who wet their pants everytime they sneeze I fell in love with this sign I saw in a shop window on the main street in Ruidoso, New Mexico during a recent road trip.  Even though the store was closed for the night that didn't stop me from taking a quick picture with my cell phone and sending it to all of my partners in crime.  It's moments like these that make me realize that life is all about our relationships with others.  It is about building memories out of moments that, at the time, don't seem that funny.....but.....later on down the road bring tears to your legs.

Too Small and Too Big at the Same Time

I knew my daughter had grown out of the majority of her clothes....but I had forgotten about the growing out of herself part of it all.  Yesterday, while purging her closet I discovered that she did, indeed, have carpeting in there after all!  Like most of us girls, my daughter gravitated toward the same few articles of clothing that were her favorites and basically ignored everything else taking up space and convincing her that she had "tons" of things to wear.  As it turns out she had good reason to neglect certain articles of clothing....especially the ones that were either four sizes too small or else resembled something a nine or ten year old would be more interested in.  Existing in the ambivalent and fuzzy area of "too big for the 'kid' section and too small for the 'adult' section, my teen daughter now has "nothing to wear."  Boy don't we all know that feeling...even with a closet full of clothes.  Like any responisble and frugal mother, I refuse to buy her anything for school until the day before it starts because she is more than likely to a)grow out of it the following week, and b)drastically change her opinion of what's "cool" based upon all of the look-alikes who flit about campus.  This "wait until August" approach does not sit well with my daughter but I am holding my ground.  As I held up each piece of clothing for her to say "yay" or "nay" to I had to admit that I, too, could instantly see most of it was a "nay."  Especially when I came to the oh so tiny denim mini skirt and little white shoes.....wait a minute!! She never wore that?!  This little "outfit" belonged to one of her stuffed animals....a beloved rabbit who was way better dressed than she ever was!  It was at this point when I realized that not only was my daughter outgrowing all of the clothes I just bought for her less than six months ago, but that she was also outgrowing all of the things that little girls play with as well.  No, I don't wish she would stay little forever...and, no, I don't reserve any tears for the years of following a toddler around....but I do realize that time is beginning to whiz by a little faster than it ever did before....which is weird in the sense that when life is crazy insane it seems like you are stuck in a time warp with no end in sight (such as when babies keep you up all night....such as when they only want to be held while you're attempting to eat dinner....such as when you have to pack, prepare, buckle up, unbuckle, carry inside--just to pump gas--and then repeat the whole process backward just to drive back home).  And yet, when your kids are finally old enough to bathe themselves, afford you the luxury of eating an entire bowl of cereal in one sitting, and actually teach you things....well time just whips right past you before you even have a chance to glance down at your watch.  On the bright side....I don't have to buy clothes for inanimate objects anymore.....unless you consider a teenager an inanimate object!

Probing for Time

Sometimes I feel like the only way I will be able to accomplish a task without interruption is if I were  abducted by aliens and whisked away...I'm not even scared of being probed....whatever it takes!  It seems that every time I sneak up the stairs to peck on the keyboard I am summoned for one thing or another....something usually urgent and important like retrieving a bath towel for someone in the shower...or to be shown the latest hair style on the latest Disney tween.  Silly me thought that during my time off in the summer I'd write during THE DAY instead of at midnight, five a.m., or...gasp...while commuting...but...there I went again....dreaming my crazy dreams...again!  Some habits are hard to break darnit!  Nevertheless I know deep down inside that I will write my entire life...and sometimes the actual writing part of it has to take second seat to the actual living of it (or else what would I have to write about?!).  So that is why I'm spending the day helping my daughter clean out her closet....(which, in itself is something definitely worth writing about!...stay tuned!)

The Mesa Verde Cliff Dwellings....unbelievable.  Yeah....and do you know how you get to be able to view them?  You hike!  You climb!  You pant!  Yup....another day on "vacation" I was tricked into exercising!

You had me at STOP

  

 

Recently, while on "vacation," I came across 3 signs...the first one said "STOP," the second one said "CAUTION," and the third one said, "BE PREPARED."  Where were the "RELAX", "ENJOY", and "POOL THIS WAY" signs??? The words of Goldie Hawn's character in "Overboard" kept ringing in my ears: "I'm not supposed to be here!" Like Alice in Wonderland, I was beginning to wonder just what I was getting myself into. (How I wish the signs had been "EAT ME" or "DRINK ME!")  I was begining to ascend down down down into the rabbit hole...er...Carlsbad Caverns.  A huge hole in the ground...the dank, dark, cold, no one will be able to find you kind of hole.  And I was doing this because I was on VACATION.  Huh?  Wait just a second....did I just get tricked into exercising?! 

Compact Car

I drive a VW Jetta TDI.  I love my car.  I truly do.  I love it for multiple reasons.  One of the top reasons is that it gets, on average, 47-48 mpg! This comes in handy during family roadtrip vacations such as the one we just returned from.  The four of us, two adults and two teenagers, rode in our compact car from the Texas Hill Country, through New Mexico, up into Colorado, and back again over the past week.  And we brought all our stuff with us.  I don't know what it is, but I absolutely have to have my stuff with me--as in surrounding me and touching me at all times...kind of like my very own jackdaw nest.  Only....I totally need my space!  This poses quite the problem for me because, although I finally packed "light" (instead of a gigantic suitcase on wheels I brought a small suitcase on wheels...and a duffel...and a "bathroom/cosmetic pouch"...and a tote for all of my reading material...and a small backpack for all of the charger cords for our electronics......)
Luckily my son has been immersing himself in all things Bear Grylls so he packed like a true survivor and basically left home with the clothes he had on his back, and binoculars.  My daughter, thank goodness, does not have the pack rat/girl scout mentality of her mother and could carry her "luggage" in both hands.  Since my kids' legs are now longer than their torsos there was no way I would be able to scoot or lay my seat back.  Even when sitting in the back seat with my daughter for a while I had to convince my spine that it was comfortable in a twisted position.  But, with the help of my eyemask, my earplugs, and a couple Advil too many I lived to tell the tale.  We had a great time and were able to see some pretty amazing things.  Like the time my daughter got to stare at the soles of my feet for a couple hundred miles.

On a Roll

I take great honor in knowing that I have what it takes to change a roll of toilet paper.  It must be something I inheirited from my mother, as she too was gifted in this department.  Not only can I change it but I can sense when  it's going to need to be changed....I know....amazing!  It's like having "the right stuff" without having to fly to the moon.  I don't think there is a badge awarded for this skill of mine but if there were I would iron that baby on pronto!  Not only am I able to accomplish this feat at home, I am able to help out my workplace and the community at large as well.  Yup...the roll always ends when I enter the room.  I'm just lucky that way I guess.  Last week my son and I were visiting one of our favorite thrift stores when my bladder started to swell.  I asked the shop owner where the nearest restroom was with the hopes that she'd say, "Oh we have one here!"...instead she replied, "Uh....um....the nearest one is at Church's Chicken."  With this in mind I did the only thing a girl could do...I kept shopping for bargains.  When I simply could not hold it any longer I politely told the shop owner that I wanted to keep shopping but that I would be leaving my pile of goods and my son behind to waddle across the street.  This worked because she immediately reached underneath her counter and pulled out a key on a stick and a 4-pack of toilet paper.  I sh** you not!  She proceeded to tell me that she hadn't had a chance to replenish the TP and hated for me to go back there without it (sweet lady).  I grabbed the package and the numchuck-looking key and raced to the rear ...of the store!  Like a fireman and a Navy Seal all wrapped in one I broke through the door, ripped apart the plastic, and, in mere  seconds I was on a roll!

Google in a Box

At yesterday's estate sale I walked right past the Log Cabin Syrup tin, the plastic Mary Kay pouches, and the mitre saw, and headed straight toward the boxes of books.  One such box was filled with reference materials including The Standard Dictionary of Facts. Say what?!  A whole entire BOOK of FACTS?!  It was like finding Google in a Box!  My how far we have come.  Even though it is nice to be able to search online without having to pick mud dauber clumps off of pages it is just a tad sad to think that books such as the ones above are relegated to cardboard boxes at estate sales.  Maybe I'm "old school" but I can still flip through a dictionary and find what I'm looking for faster than I can if I go upstairs, turn on the computer and log in.  While I have one hand firmly holding a book, the other hand has been known to upload ebooks.  I've been trying out the ikindle app on my itouch and must admit that it is quite convenient to have a "shelf" full of books with me at all times.  But I do miss the physicality of actually holding a book, turning the pages, and, yes, smelling it.  While I vow to keep up with all of the technological advances that present themselves, I vow also to cherish my "real" books.  They are like friends to me and bring back wonderful memories everytime I see them.  Being able to read ebooks has made me a little more selective in which books I choose to purchase as hard copies and that is a good thing as there is very little wall or floor space left in my house for more tomes.  In case you were wondering, I did not purchase The Standard Dictionary of Facts, the main reason being it had mildew all inside and along the edge of every page....something I haven't had to deal with when searching Google lately.

Don't Touch My Stuff!

I went to an estate auction early this morning.  Normally I love a good deal...but every time I attend an estate sale I get overcome with emotion.  I become very saddened by the fact that the owner of all of the possessions has no idea that all of their belongings are being fondled by strangers.  This makes me rethink my own hoarding issues.  I love people, I really do...I just don't like to share.  I was especially protective of my stuff as a child.  I distinctly remember the times my mother's best friend would come over and visit us for the day.  She would bring along her daughter, who was the same age as me.  I really liked this girl...except when she marched right over to my closet and started trying on my shoes.  Since I was taught to be polite I held my tongue albeit through a clenched jaw.  I can easily recall walking over to my mother who was enjoying her sweet tea and catching up with her friend at the dining room table and whispering in her ear, "She's wearing my shoes!" My eyes were no doubt as wide as they could be trying to translate my dire need for an intervention--pronto! 
As I walked around the front yard of the old farm house it was easy for me to tell that the lady of the house was an avid cook and had a way with a sewing machine.  She enjoyed quilts and all manor of costume jewelry.  If you study the photo you'll notice a wedding dress hanging on the front porch.  All of the other items were laid out on folding tables in the yard separated by category to be auctioned off in lots.  This got me thinking about all of the things that are mine...all of the minutiae that I simply can't part with for whatever reason.  It scares me to think of the unthinkable...what if....    But then a smile starts to tug at the corner of my lip...just one corner...a kind of smirk.....just what exactly would one be able to deduce about "the lady of my house?"  I certainly am no whiz in the kitchen...although I have every Pampered Chef item ever sold.  I've never sewn an article of clothing (unless you count that plaid sleep shirt I was forced to make in homemaking)...but I have several quilts.  Hmmm....just what does our stuff say about us?  I am a tad nervous about all of my writings and journals and snippets of papers lying about....those are the real tell-alls.....I think it's time to invest in a vault!

Brace Yourself

My thirteen year old daughter got braces today.  Prior to this her life was "over" at the mere thought.  Now...not so much.  The hardest part (for me) was listening to her list of worries (she's a brooder like her mother).  While I could certainly understand her plight I found it hard to relate as I was pretty much "okay with it" when I got braces at her age.  Her teeth are relatively straight...it's more of a "jaw alignment issue" for her.  We're looking at approximately 14 months of payments...er...braces. The price tag is a definite eye-opener for a bargain hunter like me.  Wouldn't it be nice if items such as braces went on sale every now and then?  BOGO BRACES!!! (that's Payless Shoe's "Buy One Get One" slogan for those of you who may not have ever shopped at a place with "Pay Less" in its title).  As for me...I absolutley love thrift stores and rummage shops.  In fact, earlier in the day I purchased a diamond ring for $4.77...same price I paid for the chair I'm sitting in right now!  Okay...I'll admit...there's a slight chance the "diamond"  (which is at least 1 carat) is not real.....but....it could be.  But back to the braces.....while I probably wouldn't buy a set of "gently worn" braces for my daughter it would be nice to find them on sale.  The very thought of plunking down a LOT of money on anything gets me all queasy inside and yet today I handed over a check in which the amount box was a tad too small for the amount.  And I was buying something that A)my daughter did NOT want; B)was going to sink my daughter's self esteem; and C)was, quite frankly, not fashionable.  Can you just imagine what I could have bought instead??  We're talking items the likes of A)a sports car; B)a small swimming pool; and C)an entirely fun, cute, and fashionable wardrobe!  It's so weird how we deprive ourselves of some of the things we want because they cost so much and yet we'll fork over the funds for items such as A)a new transmission; B)a new pump for a dried up well; and C)torture devices for our children because...let's face it....they all could use a little straightening up....and, darn it, you just can't put a price tag on that.

What a Crock

I had this crazy notion that once I was at home for the summer I'd be able to live life the way I was intended.  I assumed I'd be able to wake up refreshed from all the lounging I did the day before.  I figured I'd actually sip my coffee for hours (instead of spilling it on me en route to work).  I just knew I'd do all of this ALONE while my TEENAGERS SLEPT LATE.  I know...I'm insane.  The problem with that diagnosis is that no will even come and take me away.  You see...it's "that time in MY life" where "time off" translates as "time to cater to my children's needs."  Who do they think they are expecting me to rise and shine TO AN ALARM on my days off?!  I certainly don't recall reading this fine print anywhere in the parenting manual the lactation nurse left in my custody all those years ago.  Come to think of it I don't recall much of anything anymore.  All I know is that I thought our schedule was frenetic and on the verge of emploding while school was in session.  Ha! 
For the past couple of weeks I've counted myself lucky if I left my house with at least some form of clothing on at least one part of it.  This is because my son wakes up BEFORE his chickens.  He exercises BEFORE my coffee pot even clicks on!  (I'm thinking of having him evaluated....something is not right....).
I love him dearly nonetheless...especially since he inherited every gene I don't have.  And have I mentioned that this strange beast is ALWAYS HUNGRY!  Yeah...'bout that....  
This is the ultimate kink in my chord.  How on Earth is one expected to prepare a meal ...a hearty meal...fit for a growing boy before he attends a strength and speed "camp" 4 days a week for a MONTH?!?  HOW?!  I haven't even had "my time" out on the porch sipping coffee and flipping magazine pages!  I haven't been able to "ease into my day."  I AM NOT AWAKE!  Gone are the "pour yourself some cereal" days.  So too are the "how about some toast and jelly?" mornings.  Now I am expected to turn on the stove and measure multiple ingredients, all before 7:00 in the morning...IN  THE SUMMER! What a crock!

Giving Voice to Change

This here pic is of one of our young roosters.  He is just now starting to crow...er...attempt to crow.  This means that inside and outside of my house voices are changing.  While my son's voice seems to have deepened effortlessly without any embarrassing croaks, the same cannot be said about this here rooster.  His daily crows remind me of those old-timey barnyard sound machine/toys I used to shake and tip over repeatedly to hear those muffled moos and baaahs from....remember those?  They were nothing more than a small, enclosed tube with something mysterious inside that, when shaken or tipped over, emitted a sound.  Anywho...the sounds coming from this teenrooster are down right hilarious.  Everytime I hear his crow (which sounds more like he's being strangled to death rather than trying to rise and shine) I can't help but to think about how we all have our awkward stages.  Sometimes those stages last longer than we care to acknowledge but, in the end, we grow out of them...if not through them onto the next awkward stage.  He makes me want to do what I choose to do and do so boldly--without fear of anyone else's reaction or comment.  So what if I am "a little off" in my attempts...who cares if I don't look or sound or act like I am "suppose to"...I am at a point in my life where I have a few things to say and don't want to keep my words stuck in a muffled tube.  It's time to shake things up and crow!

Simply Stuffed

Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!  That's what I kept telling myself that I was going to do as soon as I was off for the summer.  I mentally prepared myself to toss everything I ever owned except for my coffee maker...and my mug...and my favorite blanket....oh yeah...and that little swallow's nest I found on the ground.......

This was obviously going to be harder than I thought.  I've steeled myself against sentimentality...I don't want to live in clutter and be surrounded by junk only to one day die and have a house full of strangers pick through my belongings.  I want to own my stuff rather than having it own me (yes, I've been reading "How To Organize" books...but now I have so many of them I don't know where to put them)!

I go back and forth between craving a minimalist and modern existence free from clutter and opting instead for my "lived in/everything has a story" reality.  Every now and then I pretend that at tornado is on its' way and realize that not much of it really matters anyway...I would certainly live without my dust collectors...yes, life would go on.  I've thought often about the possibility of boxing up all of my stuff and storing it (but that would mean I'd have to purchase a barn the size of a warehouse). 

Everytime I opt to carry a small purse I inevitably need my hand sanitizer, my laundry stick, some tissue, the bug spray, and a travel pillow.  But when I bring my huge purse...okay...BAG...I can't find any of the items I know are in there.  I like being prepared...I just don't like to prepare.  I am getting extremly tired of thinking ahead and predicting any and all possible outcomes to any situation that might present itself.  Since I've been off work I've packed and unpacked twice and am getting ready to pack again.  Both times I overdid it..as usual.  Both times I didn't have what I needed/wanted... or did I? 

The Long and Shorts of it

Oh the weather outside is HOT!  So off I went to buy some shorts for the kids.  Is it just me or are the girls' shorts getting shorter and the boys' shorts  getting longer?  When I held up my son's shorts they looked like capris on me!  And when I held up my daughter's shorts they looked .... well...we just won't go there! 
It's times like these when it is fun to have "one of each"...a son and a daughter.  I obviously don't have to listen to fights about having to share clothes.  But I do enjoy having a boy and a girl in my life.  Their interests and their personalities never cease to warm me.  They have inadvertantly opened my eyes to the differences in the sexes.  On a daily basis I am reminded of just how body conscious girls can be and how oblivious boys are.  I see first-hand how guys grab an article of clothing off the rack and buy it while girls have to finger every item in the store, try on one of each color, debate over an indecipherable hue difference, and then 'narrow it down' to the "final 15" choices.  Boys can get by on two pair of shorts all summer long while girls need multiple shorts in multiple lengths, colors, and textures.  And so the saga continues well into adulthood.  There is no use trying to figure it out....we are the way we are because that's just the way we are!
(That being said: this girl will not only be purchasing longer shorts this summer but they will be camouflaged as well!)

NeverAgainLand

As the days passed it became painfully clear we must have taken the 2nd star to the left as we traveled straight on 'til morning.  We were nowhere near the likes of Neverland.  We had ended up in NeverAgainLand...AGAIN!  That's right folks, I took another trip to the coast...something I totally recall saying "Never Again" to last year...and the year before that.....

So why did I commit?  ...ah yes....I have KIDS....kids who like to go to the beach!  Kids who don't have to worry about packing, providing, or applying sunscreen in a timely manner because....well...because they have a brooding chick to take care of all that!  So, after a sticky day spent on the beach I immediately jumped into the fresh, clean, clear, refreshing water of the swimming pool...THE best feeling of the day!!  I was FINALLY grit free!!  After a few flips and handstands I noticed a couple sunning themselves on an upper deck.  I loved how the only thing I could see was their shadows through the mesh.  My first thoughts were of Peter Pan and his playful shadow.  Were these two people real? Or had they been reduced to mere shadows of their former selves? 

I enjoyed spending vacation time with family but I am not the world's biggest fan of sand, sweat, and sunburnt skin (see posts: "She's Gone Coastal" 6/30/08 & "The Beach is for the Birds" 7/29/09).  But as I observed the animated shadows in front of me I began to feel lighter myself.  I was rinsed, refreshed, and ready to proceed with the evening now that I had "bathed" myself in the pool (one less chore to deal with later on).  I started to realize that, like Peter Pan, our childhoods should be filled with happy thoughts and fun adventures.  Sure, there are ticking clocks around every corner and even a couple of pirates here and there wanting to steal the things we treasure most.  But if our treasures are our memories...well...no one can take those from us. 

And so, in an effort to gift my children with a summer memory of time spent with grandparents, parents, and each other...memories of body surfing, boogie boarding, and wave jumping...countless hours of dominoes, inside jokes, and giggling until the inevitable happens.....I took a trip to NeverAgainLand....again.

Gypsy

Sitting on the couch with my daughter's legs resting across my own. We are connected via the sharing of earbuds. She is sharing a new song she downloaded onto her iPod today; Shakira's "Gypsy." I'm still learning the lyrics but so far I like the idea of being free...free from all of the things that hold me back...free to be me. I also love the idea of being a part of my daughter's world as opposed to being apart from it.

In the morning we will leave for a mini vacation to the beach. We will embrace the opportunity to walk barefoot in the sand...free from our tight-fitting shoes and all of the other things that bind and limit us. We shall be free...gypsies in the sand.

Time to Negotiate

A couple of days ago I treated myself to lunch...I'm thoughtful that way.  Although I truly do enjoy the company of other people (sometimes) I often prefer to be alone.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my soul craves the opportunity to collect her thoughts....to recharge....to simply "be."  While that may be true, as a working mother I am surprised that I do not have a permanent indentation in the meaty part of my shoulder from all of the incessant poking it receives.  Allow me to give you an example:  "poke-poke-poke-Mom! Mom!poke-poke-poke-Mom!! Mom!!poke-poke-poke-Miss!! Miss!! poke-poke-poke!"  There are times when I have to restrain myself from screaming "GO AWAY!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" 

And that is why, during my last week of work--a week without students and the typical after-school taxi services I offer my children...free of charge...I'm thoughtful that way...I found myself the single occupant of a table for four in one of my favorite Chinese food restaurants. 

As I sipped my soup and chewed my chicken I found that I was finally slowing down...relaxing..."being."  When my check arrived so to did my fortune: 

"Negotiations move along smoothly.  The outcome is favorable!"

My first thought was..."What am I in need of negotiating?  Huh?  Where's the part that predicts I'm going to collect a windfall?"  I have to admit I was a little let-down...I really wanted a "good" fortune...something I could believe in...hang on to...as I began my summer break.  But just this morning, after some quiet devotional time alone in my loft, I began to see my "fortune" in an entirely different light.  There is another definition of the word "negotiate" as found in Barron's Pocket Dictionary and Thesaurus:  "Get over an obstacle or difficulty." ....hmmmm.... now that's more like it!!!  I couldn't help but notice that this definition was the third and final entry.  This got me thinking that maybe our first, or even second thought, impression, or feeling, may not always be the "right" one.  Sometimes we have to negotiate around several obstacles in our paths, in our lives, in our souls to find a favorable outcome. 

Free At Last!

Fortunately I have never been in jail before....but I have been a prisoner....a prisoner of work that is.  But today was officially my "release day."  I love the fact that educators actually have a beginning and an ending to their work year.  We get to clean up, clean out, and ultimately walk out.  As I walked out of the doors of the school building that I call home for 10 months out of the year I did so with a bounce in my step.  In under one minute I went from being a paid professional adult to a school girl without a care in the world...I was a kid again!!! I wanted to throw reams of paper up into the air and fling my legs back behind me like they always did in those old Toyota commercials.  I wanted to peel out of the parking lot and meet up with all of my friends and head to the lake...windows down.  Instead I drove to Walmart and went grocery shopping.  My school girl bubble burst as soon as remembered that I had two starving children waiting at home.  The good news is that I realized that I can actually be a functioning member of society when I am not working and I am shopping sans kids.  It was actually a revelation I tell you!  I was in and out of there with only the items that I came for...and I didn't have to turn my back to the security cameras to scold the little eye-roller either.  All of a sudden it became all too clear to me:  I am capable of ............anything.  I actually carried on a conversation with a complete stranger....I did not huff and puff with the customer in front of me could not figure out how to swipe their card or tap the screen..... I WAS FINALLY NOT IN A HURRY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!!!
Now, don't get me wrong here....I do love my job (thank heaven for that!) but I still can't figure out the actual crime I committed that landed me there. 

Will You Help Me Do Something By Myself?

Just the other day, right after receiving communion, I snuck out of church for a restroom break. As soon as I opened the door I could hear the voice of a little girl babbling on and on to her mother they way children do when they believe that sitting on the toilet is something that should take hours. In their unrushed way they will swing their little legs and talk and talk and talk…while Mama patiently tries to hurry them along. I heard “Mom” mumble something to which the little girl responded, “I can do it MYSELF!” By the time I came around the corner to wash my hands I noticed the same little girl, in white eyelet ankle socks and an all white summer Sunday dress, washing her hands HERSELF…albeit while standing on a chair her mother had provided for her---so the girl could have her “independence.” This child was simply beaming and the notion that she was not only getting her hands wet, but that she was pumping the soap dispenser like a bona fide pro. She proceeded to explain to me that the faucets had been replaced so now she didn’t have to keep turning them on. Once again “Mom” was patiently standing there waiting for this washing ritual to be finished….but only after her daughter dried her hands HERSELF.


This got me thinking about all of the times children demand that they do something without assistance…it is part of growing up. The problem with it is that while they are adamant about going it alone they truly need our guidance and help. And then, as luck would have it, the little darlings do grow up and are, in fact, independent…they can make their own bed, brush their own teeth, clean their own room, and do their own homework….ironically this is when they scream, “MOM!!! I NEED YOUR HELP!!!”

Floored

Just the other day I had some time to spare between getting off work and picking up my daughter after school.  I drove on over to the nearest gas station to grab some drinks for the ride home, and after parking the car I flung open my door and then leaned over to the passenger's seat to grab my purse.  As I was doing so my heavy door started to swing shut.  I stopped it with my foot and thrust it back open (as it takes me a ridiculously long amount of time to gain enough leverage to heft my ridiculously heavy purse up and over to my shoulder--while in the sitting position).  Once again the door would not remain open and swung back with a vengenance resulting in yet another kick from me.  When I finally emerged from my car I saw that a man in a truck was patiently waiting to pull in to the spot next to me.  He was pointing and his mouth was moving in an animated fashion.  Uh-oh.  Immediately I was convicted of being one of "those people" who I point and mouth at...you know...the ones who take FOREVER to get out of their car, turn the corner, or back out of a parking space.  The odd thing was that this man was smiling.  I felt compelled to walk over to him ignoring all the internal voices shouting "stranger danger" to me. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I immediatly began to plead.  But the gentleman (yes, now he is a gentleman) politely laughed and told me he thought I was his friend "Jerry" who drives the same kind of car that I do.  He thought Jerry was just messing with him on purpose--ha.  I then went on to tell him that I thought he may be pointing to my open gas tank or a possible flat tire.  Fortunately neither of these things occurred and as he and I walked toward the station's front doors he told me "Life is too short to be in a hurry." 

Relieved that our encounter was a pleasant one I paid for my bottled waters and rushed back out to my car (life may be too short to be in a hurry but when the school bell rings and the parent line backs up and you have to pick up two children at two different schools at the same exact time...well...life's too rushed to slow down sometimes).  In my haste I quickly clicked the unlock button on my key fob and flopped into the driver's seat.  As my purse was being flung up and over to the passenger seat I could not believe what I was seeing...someone had stolen my floor mats!  (take a look at the above picture and you'll understand that I wasn't so surprised that I was a victim as I was stunned at the fact that someone would want my country-fied floor mats---caked with caliche, chicken schtuff, and who knows what else).  And then the eyes of clarity descended on the fact that not only were my floor mats stolen...but so was all of the trash that thrives in my car!  The used tissues, the crumpled papers, the permission slips, the broken pencils, the empty water bottles, the hair brushes.....all of it....GONE!  Instantly I was shocked that my car could look so clean...and then I began to register the smell of the car....something wasn't right....OMG!  I WAS SITTING IN SOMEONE ELSE'S CAR!!!!!  I felt like I had landed in the Goldilocks and the Three Bears story...."....and she's STILL HERE!"  My mind started going into overdrive as I began recalling the fact that there were two policemen inside the station...my biggest fear, being wrongly convicted, was getting ready to happen...any minute the car's owner would see me sitting in the driver's seat and yell to the two cops, "SHE'S STEALING MY CAR!!!  AFTER HER!!!"  I grabbed my purse like it was a tiny clutch weighing next to nothing (suppose it must have been the adrenaline) and the mother side of my brain scolded the owner of the vehicle for not locking his doors.  I ran two or three cars over and jumped into my car.  I was relieved to see that all of my trash was intact and that, yes, my dirty floor mats were still there waiting for my return.  I made my getaway without so much as a police chase and I am now living under an assumed name in an undisclosed location.

I'm fine....really.....FINE!

Salmon have NOTHING on me...the whole swimming upstream excuse....in the words of the world's teenagers....WHATEVER!!  Unlike the salmon I don't have the benefit of a refreshing swim...shoot...I don't have the time to bathe anymore...and when I do have time...well...hygenie is nowhere near the top of my to-do list.  I have been away from this blog for way too long and was all geared up to post with avid frequency (this is where the upstream analogy comes into play).  The evil technological forces were doing everything in their powers to prevent such a thing as moi wanting to write to you.  Long and drawn out story short:  I finally found my leotard, tights, and flowing cape and confronted the dark side.  Good won out as it has proven to do time after time (after long time) and here I am!  All of this just to say that it feels so good to be able to finally tell you that within the course of one week I have acquired enough stories to make up for lost time.  School is officially out for the summer for my little chicks, I have one more week left of work, and I have taken care of my son's brood for a couple of days without so much as trailing poop back into the house....now that's skill people! 

Say What?!

I am still alive...barely.  Just the other day...I think it was yesterday....but it's all a little fuzzy to me considering the fact that I HAVE NOT ANY CAFFEINE TODAY!!  You see, yesterday I had a follow-up doctor visit to check on my exhausted adrenal glands.  Last August it was determined that I was literally Dead Woman Walking...and it wasn't only because my double-ended candle had combusted.  It had something to do with "Adrenal Fatigue."  Now, I'm no doctor, but it seems a little WRONG to tell a FATIGUED WOMAN to lay off the CAFFEINE for an ENTIRE DAY in order to conduct a test to see whether or not she's tired!!!!  I still do not know how I made it to and through work today.  Oh...and did I mention...I am NOT ALLOWED ANY CHOCOLATE either?!  TORTURE!!!  So basically I have existed on WATER and ....well, that's about it.  Not really workin' for me here.  I have one more vial of saliva to fill between 10:00 and midnight and then WOO HOO PARTY TIME!!!  ONLY IT'S BEDTIME!!!  Could the day just get any worse?!

Wish I May...Wish I Might...

It is my wish that I could make all of the women in my life happy.  I am so blessed to have so many wonderful ladies in my life on a daily basis.  Most of them don't even know how much they mean to me.  They come in all shapes, sizes, and ages...and I love them all.  I have little girls who look up to me and come by my office just to say 'hello' and to give me a hug.  I have my teenage daughter who is one of my dreams come true.  I have women in their twenties surrounding me, and thank God they do, because they help me stay current and true.  They also remind me to be thankful that I am no longer twenty!  The thirty-somethings, I have to admit, unknowingly remind me that I am three months shy of leaving their demographic.  But it is the women over the age of 40...over the age of 50...over the age of 60 who inspire me the most.  I have always been an "older spirit" and absolutely respect the words these women have shared with me.  Some of them encourage me to "go for it" while others know better than to ask too many questions...they have mastered the art of listening.  It is the women who have already been where I am now who strengthen me just by being around them.  There is no textbook I could read that would make me wise enough to be the women they are to me.  But, once I have experienced life, then, and only then, will I be able to be like the women who mean so much to me. 
All of this to say...I'm back!  I have never taken a true "hiatus" or a "sabbatical" although I think I have taken a lobotical (my own term!) for the past 9 months...hey..."9 months!"...the irony of THAT length of time is certainly not lost on me! Much like a pregnancy I have been growing (literally and figuratively) and preparing.  I hated being away from this blog for so long.  The good news is that so many of you awesome women friends of mine have encouraged me and supported me and I could not think of a better way to say thank you than to post as often as possible! 
In a couple of weeks I'll be out of school/work for the summer so I'll have even more time to share. I am looking forward to brooding!!!