A Mouthful of Memories

Yesterday, while killing time before picking up the kids from their summer celebration vacation bible school, I stumbled upon this wide-mouthed frog...and I just HAD TO HAVE IT! Here's why: one of the things I remember most about my grandmother's house was the ceramic, green, frog sponge holder that sat to the right of her kitchen sink. For some reason this kitchy little gadget appealed to me (she also had an orange one in her bathroom). While hers did not have a hinged "lid" it is still the same, basic concept...AND IT WAS ONLY $4!! (Thank goodness there was only one left or else I'd have a rainbow of frogs to deal with!).

Ehhh...I Don't Think So

While my little dog, Roo, fearlessly and energetically chases after the chickens, barks at the passing deer, and pretends to always be on guard when someone is looking, my cat, Snickers, is way too layed back to even consider exerting herself unneccessarily. There have been times when I have witnessed her experiencing bouts of sheer adrenaline and joy and it proved quite entertaining...but most of the time she is asleep. Perhaps that is why I feel such a connection with her.

In the first picture Snickers is so pooped out from sleeping all day that she can barely sit up (I was so tempted to place a bottle of liquor wrapped in a brown bag near her left paw!)

In the second picture Snickers can hardly be bothered with something so trivial as a tarantula. Pah-leeeze!

Did I mention that we originally got Snickers so that we would have an outdoor cat who would protect us from all kinds of furry, slithery, and/or multi-legged creatures? ...Ehhhh...I don't think so!

The Beach is for the Birds!

Yes, t'was I who ranted on and on about vacations in a previous post...but due to a spontaneous moment of weakness (and desperation) we packed an overnight bag and drove down to the coast. You know...one last "hurrah!" before summer ends (although with the current heat wave I'm beginning to think summer may be a lot longer lasting this year). Of course, we made the jaunt for the kids. WHY ELSE WOULD YOU SUBJECT YOURSELF TO THE STICKY ELEMENTS??!! WHY???? I have heard that other beaches are glorious...they must be what with all of the magazine spreads of people walking the beach IN THEIR CARDIGAN SWEATERS! This is simply UNIMAGINABLE down here in Texas. For someone like me the coast is something to be endured "for the sake of the children." I could have just as easily stayed home in the air conditioning and slammed my fingers in the car door---would have had the same effect. Although I could have actually simulated the whole "experience" by turning up my heater, slathering myself with baby oil, jumping into a sand-filled bathtub, standing in front of a fan so that my hair whips and twists and ultimately sticks to my lips and gets in my eyes, and then, for the coup de gras, sticking my head in the oven!

Yes, the ocean fascinates me...yes, I love dolphins...no, I do not like sitting beneath a tarp with my arms bent out like a buzzard cooling itself in the wind.

Simmer Down Now

This is the view from my stovetop...not that I need any reminders to Laugh when it comes to cooking...my attempts at cooking that is. Nevertheless I thought it a nice touch. Basically it boils down to a nostalgic metal sign I saw in an antique store just the other day, "I understand the concepts of cooking and cleaning...just not as they apply to me." (It took a tremendous amount of self-discipline not to buy it...instead I bought the other sign...the one that read, "I'm sorry, you must be confusing me with the maid we don't have." What can I say?...I'm a sucker for sarcasm!
Anywho...back to the kitchen: I want to cook...I really do...it's just that...well...it's so...everyDAY!!! I don't know...maybe it's because I live a half hour away from a grocery store...maybe it's because I am a picky eater....maybe it's because after a long day of working and mothering I'm simply frickin' TIRED! And don't even get me started on the whole ingredients factor. As if that's not enough I am loaded down with GUILT...I feel so darn guilty all of the time (not guilty enough to cook...but still guilty). It's that whole "mother of the year" syndrome. I still have that little voice deep (very deep down) that incessantly chirps, "...that's what women do...that's what good wives do...that's what good mother's do...they COOK for their family!"

It seems that every now and then I get a resurgence...I get an inspiration to actually turn over a new leaf and cook. I go so far as to actually flip through a cookbook (...and, yes, I have lots of cookbooks....hey! I like the whole, "kitchen decor" theme), but I always have a heck of a time trying to find a recipe that calls for hamburger meat and spaghetti sauce or taco seasoning. Occasionally I'll come across something that I think the kids might even like and then I realize it lists an ingredient that I've never even heard of. That's when I rip open the Top-Ramen noodle packet and ring the dinner bell.

FakeAtion

I'm still a little confused by the term "StayCation." I mean, I get it that "they" are trying to promote all of the possibilities one has to explore in their own home town...the problem I have with it is that IT STILL COSTS MONEY to frequent those venues!!! If the whole concept is to actually save money (or better yet not even spend it) how about not going anywhere people?! Allow me to introduce my brainchild: The FakeCation. Without spending a penny I have been enjoying a place that I missed being at for the past ten months: my very own HOME! I LOVE being HOME!!! So far, on my fakecation I have enjoyed the luxury of sleeping in, watching movies on tv, and reading. There have even been a few times when I have "ventured out" and spent some down time on the porch---at no charge! Yes, I would love to be able to travel more and visit new places. Sure, I would like to "get away" and experience new things. But in this fast-paced rat-race world I truly do enjoy slowing down. I like to stop and listen to the song birds and watch the sun rise and set. I have even been known to wear a fluffly white robe and sip hot tea while out on my no-fee porch pretending that I was at some swanky mountaintop spa. In the evenings I've enjoyed a glass of merlot while wrapped in a lightweight blanket engrossed in a book. Without paying a cent I gained a huge return...and there's nothing fake about that!

Toadally

Had to share this picture I snapped the other evening! The grass was moist from a teaser shower and the sun was setting...I ran outside to take a picture of Snickers in the perfect lighting when this toad caught my eye. I was surprised he let me get as close as I did. I desperately tried to get a shot of Snickers and the toad in the same frame but the closest I got was some whiskers and a pair of toad legs flying off to the right. As I reflected on this warty toad I couldn't help but to think about myself. I have had my share of warts pop up on my hands and fingers and my skin has felt awfully dry and scaly. I no longer feel "colorful" but instead feel more drab and dull. On more than one occassion I have blurted out the infamous, "I feel like a toad!" So what is a tired, stressed, disorganized, almost-forty-year-old girl to do? Sit around and wait for "the kiss" that will undo "the spell" and turn me into the princess I used to be? Oh wait...I never was a princess...oh crap...I'm really a toad. At least I can always paint my toadnails and pretend.

Let Me Out!!!

Sometimes our vision gets a little distorted and we have to stop right where we are and look at things differently. Just the other day the winds picked up and began to churn all of the dust that has been blanketing our area of the hill country for so long now. I happened to be in my car at the time and could hear the pelting of the dust particles as they peppered my door. I was instantly blinded by a chalky haze and thought immediately of the days of the dust bowl. While the winds cooled things down a bit the rain never came. Without an outlet the clouds were forced to travel on until the conditions were just right for a downpour. While nearby yards received some wet and welcome relief we were left to wait and wonder when? In much the same way my creativity has been brewing for a while now. I suppose I hadn't found an outlet yet because I had always been waiting for the 'perfect conditions' to present themselves. What I have coming to realize is that when dealing with one's creativeness the only conditions are the ones we place upon ourselves. And that is why I have been posting to this site...for it is my outlet.

Is the Chicken Inside or Outside the Cage???

I'm a grown up...I'm a grown up...I'm a grown up. This is the mantra I like to chant to myself about every hour or so. My kids are finally at the ages where I almost even feel like a grown up...that is until I actually try to do something a grown up would do. While I do not participate in shady activities or questionable endeavors I do like to venture out on my own every now and then. Take yesterday for example: my dad had just picked up my daughter so she could go home with him and spend a couple of days and nights at her grandparents' house. They had not driven more than two miles down the road when I received a picture text of my daughter making a silly face. I thought I'd play along and immediately took a picture of myself with eyes crossed and tongue hanging out---while driving in my car---en route to purchase a bottle of vino. Almost instantaneously my daughter texted me back the following query: "where u headed?" The little stinker knew. I felt like I had been "caught" and that I would have to weasel my way out very carefully. So, I texted her back, "had 2 check mail."

Example number 2 (in less than 24 hours). I had to meet my daughter in town because she and I both had dental appointments previously scheduled before the big "spend the night" deal. After we both received our packets of sugar free gum we went our separate ways...she to her allergist's and me to my parents' house to pick up some 2x4s. After loading and adjusting and securely strapping down the lumber I headed toward home...but I would have to pass the allergist's office to do so. Guess who was pulling out of the allergist's office and onto the very road I was driving down-while talking on my cell phone? Yup. Guess who beeped into my conversation? Yup. Guess what she had to say to me......"Mom...Grandpa told me how you were suppose to load the lumber and you did it wrong...it's all going to slide out...you are suppose to-blah blah blah blah..." Yup. I was being reprimanded after being caught doing such unthinkable things as doing things my way. I just don't know how I'm going to work up the courage to try to convince her to let me stay up late tonight.

Alpha Bravo Charlie

So here I am watching news footage commemorating the 40th anniversary of the 1st man on the moon when a HUGE question forms in my brain....just how is it that we could get a live feed...actual audio reception of Neil Armstrong speaking FROM THE MOON back to EARTH and I can't even get one bar on my cell phone or air card to pick up a feed from a wireless tower less than a couple of miles from my house????!!! Huh?!

For the past two days I have been wanting to post something poignant about my 20th high school reunion and I haven't been able to because...oh...I don't know...there was a cloud passing over???? Anywho I finally got my computer to react to my ranting, banging, and begging and at 9:54 p.m. I was able to complete a connection. The pictures above show just how we have been able to communicate all summer long. As "luck" would have it (my 'luck' that is) the best reception can be achieved if, and only if, we try to connect while up in my son's treehouse (maybe it has something to do with being closer to God???). My ingenious son set up a def-com station the likes of some Vietnam War fort and after suspending our air-card from the rooftop was able to gain an extra bar of reception. The only problem with this little setup is the fact that it is 104 degrees outside these days!!! Just the other day I climbed those handy little stairs in nothing more than a pair of flip flops and a damp bath towel...no lie (and no pictures) to help him with an itunes issue. Yup...you gotta love the country.

Wild Abandon

Roo loves chasing the chickens...but only when one of us is watching. This picture was taken right after I told Roo to "Get 'Em!" Just before that they were all one big happy family. While I don't want Roo constantly chasing and ultimately attacking (eating) our free range chickens I do want her to patrol the porches. Our chickens have the annoying habit of leaving evidence of their visits to our porches most of which eventually ends up in our home if you catch my drift. With the nickname, Rooster, our tiny dog bursts full throttle towards our flock scattering them in all directions upon command. Once she went so far as to return with two tail feathers in her mouth! She proudly bounces back to the door ready to gloat no doubt deserving of a treat. It's fun to watch her looking back over her left shoulder just after reaching where the chickens once were--just to make sure there was a witness. Even though her face cannot be seen you can just feel her delight and know she is smiling.

It's Like Beating a Dead Rug

It must be the heat...it has to be...for I actually swept, vacuumed, and mopped part of my house......I know!!! But, after "walking" for half an hour hunched over trying to coerce dirt particles to release their grip within all of the score lines in our concrete I decided I could call it a day...I mean...I was tuckered and my back hurt. I think housework is bad for my health!

All throughout the school year I kept telling myself that I would clean my house once I was off for the summer. And then summer hit. Why on Earth would I want to clean house, now?! When I'm on vacation?! I just didn't make a lick of sense. And, considering the fact that I prefer to simply throw things away rather than clean, fix, or wash them I was stuck with the dilemma of just how does one go about throwing away their house?! It would be sooo much easier to simply relocate into a sparse, clean, condo somewhere...with all white furniture...and windows you could actually see out of...and maid service...and....

Then the realization hit that if I wanted some semblance of clean I would have to do it and I would have to do it now. So, rather than vacuuming the rugs I drug them outside and flopped them over the fence. I beat the filth out of them with a broom and then lugged them back inside--knowing full well that they would be riddled with dirt within the hour. That's the thing about cleaning...there is no long-lasting result. Take mopping for example: now my floors are just clean enough that you can see the tread from my flip flops as I followed along behind the mop (why are there riding lawn mowers and not riding mops? It's not like footprints show up in the grass. Hmmmmm....)

So, even though it will be hard to tell that I actually cleaned the house by the time evening comes I can at least say that I did it. Another exciting rendition of "How I Spent My Summer Vacation."

Peep Show

Our 2nd generation of Silkies have started to hatch! Our mama hen has been sitting on ten eggs for several weeks--all throughout this drastic heat wave. I have made sure to hose down their outdoor coop several times throughout the day and everytime I do the chickens run out from their covered "home" just the same as kids would do at the first sign of a refreshing sprinkler being turned on in the backyard! But Mama Hen...she would sweat it out...she hesitated to leave her nest. Every now and then she would come out...see what all the fuss was about (she has three older chicks) and then would rush back inside to brood. It is truly a marvel to watch things like this...to note the maternal instincts...the sacrifices...the dedication. In the end it pays off...out pops a cute and fluffy chick! The hard part is certainly not over...there are still more eggs to hatch...and of those that are left not all will survive. Mama Hen is overly alert now as she tries to keep her new and curious charge close by. She has older chicks who still try to wedge their way beneath her even though they are almost as big as she is...but she makes room. Her clucking is different now...it is gravelly and lower-pitched...she means business.

My son has been keeping an interval camera on Mama and chick all day long for the past two days. It has been fun to watch a full day's worth of activity in seven minutes. We've witnessed the fact that Mama and baby are never apart from each other. We've noticed that the older chicks are more adventurous now that Mama is otherwise occupied (and the one we've dubbed "Carrot Top" is a camera hog!). We've also realized that no matter what they are a family...one that has grown and is continuing to grow; a family of chickens who makes room for each other despite the tight quarters. Yes, there is a lot more chicken poop to put up with, but there is also a whole new brood to marvel at.

Don't Get Squashed!

Our summer garden has been harvested and tilled. There are no longer leaves of green or flowers of yellow. The crisp husks of what once was have withered, dried out, and died. As we said goodbye to the garden that provided the makings for multiple bowls of pico we stumbled upon (tripped over would be more like it) a zucchini that flourished despite the harvesting, the drought, and the extreme heat. While it may not be as tasty as its predecessors, it is making its own statement as a true conversation piece. It has served to remind me that we can all continue to grow even when everything around us seems to be trying to squash us.

The Price Is Right

In my constant quest to pull off a high-dollar look without actually spending the money I am forever on the look-out for a bargain. My efforts were rewarded the other day when I finally "allowed" myself to enter into a real, true store. A store where I did not have to mix my khakis with my kiwis. That's right folks, I ventured out into the "Real World." Reality Check: The "Real World" stinks! Are you Serious, people?! You actually expect me to pay $60 bucks for a pair of pants?! Whatever! But wait...is that a Markdown I see?....a double markdown nonetheless?! I'll take one in every color!

Room to Grow

I am sitting on the floor in front of the girls' dressing room at a local department store where I am practicing parental patience breathing techniques. My twelve year old daughter is behind closed doors trying on clothes...need I say more?

We have been here all of 9 minutes and my pulse is excellerating. I fear being rolled out of here atop a gurney...the day I don't have on so much as under-eye concealer but I do have on three-sizes-too-small undies. When asked if I have an existing heart condition I'll feebly raise my palid hand and point to my preteen. When pressed for more details I'll be forced to relive the moments I was forced to endure the irrational illogic that can only spew forth from a girl in a dressing room who wants the way-too-tight/too-small pair of jeans; insisting that it doesn't matter because her yet-to-be-purchased tops will cover them up. After a VERY slow and deep inhale and exhale (and with the deliberate ommission of the oh-so obvious notion that the jeans cost money and will be outgrown BEFORE school even starts) I simply said, "No." (This would be the part where the drama kicked in).

Yes, people, I remember what it was like to be that age...I STILL feel that way! I still want to look like the actresses in the movies; I still try to copy the models in the magazines. However, I have yet to figure out a way to actually afford it all...other than bargain hunting, making do, or doing without. (It is important to note that one would be hard pressed to convince a twelve year old girl to adopt any one of the three above-mentioned options).

It has now officially been an hour and "we" have only been trying on pants.

...6:00 p.m....still here...

Okay...I caved on one pair of skinny jeans, but held firm on the flare legs (I know...I know...it should have been the other way around...), she got her way on a pair of denim capris (but only because they were the last ones and in "her" size), but I did my best to convince her that she really looked better in "the next size up" pair (keeping my fingers crossed on this one).

Myself...well...I was in need of a new black belt and a new brown belt. In true "make-do" fashion I found a reversible belt that served both needs. Now if I can just keep myself from passing up the last notch on the belt it will have been completely worth the trip!

Short Story

What is it with kids?! They are SO demanding!! They want attention, they want food, they want clean clothes to wear....it never ends! Take my son for example: he just came home after a week and a half vacation--during which he wore the same pair of shorts every day. The morning after he got home his first words to me were: "Mom, have you washed because I don't have any clean shorts to wear." HUH?! Say WHAT?! I'm thinking: the kid can live on one pair of cargo shorts for ten days-while away from MOM-and then WHAM!-the minute Mom is back in the picture it's "Wash this!" "Cook this!" "Buy this!"

So, I did what any well-intentioned, loving mother would do...I went out and bought the boy 5 new pair of shorts...consider it my way of conserving water during the drought!

Those Lazy Days of Summer

Last night I stayed up late (until 12:00 a.m.) thus calling for the need to sleep in (until 9:30 a.m.) thus resulting in the need for a nap (at 5:00 p.m.). As you can see I am simply worn out! This not working routine has me exhausted! It has me wondering how in the heck do I do it all when I am working?? Wow! I am fearful that if I had tons of money and did not go to work I would sleep just enough to feel rested enough to feel like sleeping again. But this ultimately has me realizing that I would no longer have bags underneath my eyes which means I would not have to apply concealer which means I would not even begin to know how to exist without the need to conceal, cover up, and create a "natural" look. And so, I am resigned to the fact that no matter how much I catch up on my sleep during these glorious summer months off I will ultimately end up looking like I thrive on all-nighters when back at work. Nevertheless the chance to be a relaxed and lounging soul has me feeling completely content. Plus...since I am wide awake now at 8:30 p.m. I must treat myself to a glass or two or four of wine so that I can partake in falling asleep for the second time today.

Now, lest you think I stayed horizontal all day long I must divulge that I did, in fact, do a little light cleaning and straightening....that is until it pooped me out and I had to retire to the couch for some History Channel viewing (one must stay educated). With the temperature over 100 degrees one can't blame me for wanting nothing more than to keep myself hydrated and rested...heat stroke is not something one should take lightly.

Land that I Love

On this, the 4th of July, I want to say that I love the fact that I am able to walk up and down the streets of a large and busy city and see beauty and history as I do. I have the freedom to visit places and teach my children about their world. I realize that I am fortunate to be able to do so as many others do not have such liberties. I am grateful that I live in a country whose men and women so honorably fight and sacrifice their lives for. Because of them my family was able to spend a day walking freely along sidewalks and streets marveling at all of the sights and sounds that crossed our path.

It's All Coming Back to Me Now

To celebrate the homecoming of my kids after being away on vacation with their grandparents we all went downtown and enjoyed a day of sightseeing and eating...an intact family of four...together again...that is until my daughter and I were separated from dad and brother while trying not to vomit in public. Maybe it was the heat...maybe it was the overwhelming joy at being back home...who knows...either way my daughter got sick right as our dinner was served to us-outdoors-on the Riverwalk. After spending way too long in a public bathroom teetering over the toilet as to avoid actually having to touch anything my daughter and I decided to play it safe and cover the floor and toilet seat with some paper towels. Fortunately the bathroom had decorative Saltillo tile and was somewhat "decent" considering other public options. As I sat on the bathroom floor, beneath the diaper changing station, dabbing the back of my daughter's neck with a wet paper towel, in the "larger-more spacious" stall, I could not help but to think that I was being punished for reveling in and enjoying my "vacation" from parenting. It was as if the kids were retuned to me and then, in less than 24 hours, I was reduced to collecting E-Coli on my knees and bottom while foregoing dining in public. I was instantly reminded that I was a parent NO MATTER WHAT and that my duties still include being there and supporting my children...I just sometimes wish they would work on their timing!

Back in the Nest

My chicks are coming home!!! My brood has been away from home for 11 days-IN A ROW!!! Okay, I'll admit it...it was delightful...the being home ALONE part of it all. But, now that the time has come I am actually starting to get a little bit excited about seeing my kids again. This was the first time they have ever been away from home longer than a couple of days so it was a big deal for all of us. I can't wait to hear their voices and listen to their stories. Us Mamas want our chicks to venture out and scratch and peck on their own...but in the end...it's always good when they come back home to the nest.