Where Water Once Was

Have you ever wondered what the bottom of a lake looks like? I'm sure many of you have experienced the creepy gross feeling of that mushy mucky mossy gunk squishing between your toes. Some of you have probably even brushed past an errant branch reaching upwards from its hold on the bottom. But how many of you have ever been able to walk where you once skiied? Just yesterday I went walking where water once was. All of the watches, cell phones, caps, car keys, and sunglasses had already been scavenged by those pesky early birds, but I was able to stumble across multiple empty cans and bottles, lake shells, fragments of rope, a trebble hook, a fish head skull, a snake in a log, several cow patties, and an umbrella. While none of these "finds" were worthy of taking home I did find the umbrella a true picture of irony as we are in the middle of a brutal drought that has the lake at extremely low levels. As I took this picture the sky was darkening and rain was beginning to fall.

What Would Rorschach Say?

I have never sat across from a psychiatrist and analyzed an inkblot before...but I'm very curious as to what one would have to say about me after I showed

them the inkblot I created. You see, even though I live out in the sticks I still try to maintain some form of dignity. I try to make myself feel regal and fancy and sophisticated...something that is very difficult to pull off considering the amount of gnats and 'no-see-ums' that flit about our home. Take last night for example: A nice glass of wine while reading a book just before drifting off to sleep would be the perfect ending to my week...or so I thought. It turned out that while I was changing into my pajamas a herd of gnats decided to rob me of such an indulgence. I got all snuggled into bed, propped myself up against my favorite pillows, opened my book, and then reached for my glass---aaaggghh! Instead of delicately sniffing and sipping my wine I ended up dipping and wiping my wine. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I have mastered the art of the retrieval of gnats from wine glasses. One merely has to gently touch the gnat with the tip of one's finger, just barely skimming the surface of the wine, and WHALLAH! You've got yourself one perfectly extracted drunken gnat. After each extraction I would wipe my finger free on the small notepad I keep on my nightstand...for just such an occasion (not really...it's there in case of sudden insight...note it was BLANK prior to the gnat blots). I suppose the saying about taking the girl out of the country really is true...what's even scarier is that I've actually written about wine gnats in a previous blog!

Instead of purchasing a bucket of citronella, listening to the shock and awe of a bug zapper, or covering yourself in sprays and lotions why not multitask and invest in a good bottle of wine? It has come to my attention that the tiny and irritating bugs of summer prefer a good merlot!

Butterfly Moments in Life

There have been a lot of celebrations these past few days. I have enviously, but joyously looked on as some of my colleagues retired; I have listened with pride as my sister told me of my nephew's completion of kindergarten; I have been in the same room as my daughter and two other pre-teens as they primped and giggled and fluttered about just before their first dance. I have driven home with my son and one of his friends as they excitedly planned their weekend activites. Each of these moments were celebrations of life if nothing else. For my colleagues it was a celebration of all of their hard work and dedication to their life's work and a realization that a new beginning was in store for them. For my sister it was a celebration of accomplishment and the knowledge of her son's growth. For my daughter it was a celebration of the end of not only school, but of elementary school at that...a celebration of pure excitement. So many changes will be taking place in her life as she prepares for middle school. For my son it was a celebration of friendship...an opportunity to continue to grow as a person and as a friend. His wings are drying out and the test flapping has begun...soon he will be soaring to new heights. As I sat back and witnessed each of these occasions I could not help but to feel happy for each them. Like the beautiful butterfly, each of these people, who so graciously bless my life simply because they are in it, have gone through or are going through many different ages, stages, and changes. They have crawled and they have flown. They are beautiful to observe and they remind me just how precious life is.

Not Tonight

Not wanting to leave Roo out of the "cute sleeping pet" category I decided to let you get a glimpse of Her Royal Highness. Pay close attention to the expression on her face: it is basically saying, "Don't even THINK about touching me, moving me, sliding in next to me, or even looking at me." You see, Roo, the itty bitty 4 pounder rules the roost when it comes to bedtime. I can hardly step into my son's room, let alone stand next to his bed if she is already settled for the evening; I have the puncture wounds to prove it. At least I know that should anyone, God forbid, sneak into our house we would all be alerted immediately and the burglar would be mangled before we could dial 911. While I could probably drag Snickers down the stairs by one of her outstretched paws-her limp and sleeping body slinking over each step as if were a silken cloth (during which time she would not so much as even open one eye) I can not even tell my son goodnight without a low, gutteral, vibrating growl emminated from somewhere beneath the covers. If I so much as dared to chance a kiss on the forehead I would risk the loss of any appendage touching the bed. But, by day she is cute and well-behaved so we keep her around.

Moments

In one week's time I have witnessed a mother mouthing the words to a song as her child sings on stage; I watched as another mother kept time with her feet as she kept one eye on the viewfinder and the other on her child dancing; I observed another mother praying over her child's casket.

There are moments in life that grip us and move us. These are the times when we are suppose to grasp them back and take it all in. We are not to let such occurrences pass us by without impact. We need to be in the moment even when we don't realize it is one. We need to be our child's biggest supporter and love them love them love them.

Yes, we all worry. I am notorious for pre-planning worst case scenarios in my mind. But I also know that if I live my life in a constant state of brooding then I will never truly enjoy that which is actually happening now. I must remain strong in my faith and pray unceasingly. I must trust in God to direct our days.

Cuppy Love

If you ever need a lesson in how to completely succumb to sleep---please---stop by my house one day and observe my cat. Snickers has brought more joy into my life than I ever thought a cat could. She simply cracks me up. I can't seem to stop snapping pictures of her sleeping. Just the other day I found her snoozing on top of my daughter's bed hugging Cuppy, a beloved stuffed animal. If this picture does not scream "CONTENTMENT!" I don't know what does.

A Mother You Will Always Be

(This post is meant as a heartfelt prayer to another mother)

A mother you will always be
From now until eternity
Your daughter grew and learned and loved
And then returned to the Lord above
But she is always yours to claim
The bond you shared will forever remain
Faith will keep your family strong
In God's love is where you belong

Exercising is for the Dogs...and Cats

As soon as I roll out my exercise mat Roo immediately claims it as her very own spot to rest. But, once she spied the 2lb. weights she began to have second thoughts. I know exactly how she felt (Notice her expression: "Hold on just a second....I am slowly backing away....") I know exercising is good for me. I know that if I keep at it I will begin to see results...I GET IT PEOPLE! But here's the rub...I DON'T WANT TO DO IT!!! I like all of the gear...the mat, the dumb bells, the lycra, the outfits, the tennis shoes (I even bought one of those purple exercise balls...but, as you can see, it is outside on the porch deflating rapidly...in fact, Snickers is worn out just by the mere sight of it!)...it's the doing it after a long, hard day part...it's the getting undressed and then dressed again just to sweat and get undressed again...it's the "I don't like bouncing around on achey joints when I could be reading right now" part of it all. But...I have stuck with it. And, yes, I am starting to see results...and...I am feeling good about myself--dammit! NOW I HAVE to keep exercising! And so I do. Yes, I have skipped a couple of days here and there...mainly because of my crazy schedule...but I have picked right back up as soon as I was able. I like the fact that I am doing something to make me better. I also like the fact that my pets and I have so much in common!!!

And On The Sixth Day She Rested...

I've been a tad bit busy this past week and have not been able to post. I hate to make excuses, but here's why:
MONDAY: Attended an awards ceremony for my son...got home a little after 8:00 that night.
TUESDAY: Attended a band concert for my daughter...got home a little after 9:00 that night.
WEDNESDAY: Took my daughter to podiatrist appointment at 2:45, then picked up my son from school at 4:00, then drove the half hour communte back home to take my daughter to her hair appointment at 4:15 (ran little bit late on that one), then took my son home while his sister was getting layers cut in her beautiful hair (prayed hard that she would like it), after successful hair cut experience I left the house at 6:00 to drive my son to an end of the school year church dinner/swim party that started at 6:30, then I drove back home and forced myself to work out for 20 minutes (still attempting the 30-Day Shred), after a quick shower I left the house at 8:00 to pick up my son, returned back home a little after 9:00, once home I baked a test batch of Besitos de Coco for my daughter's history project from 9:30-10:00, stayed up until my kids finished their homework-which was around 11:15 at night.
THURSDAY: Tried in vain to leave the house before I was suppose to report to work but was unable to do so as my son proceeded to tell me that he had just thrown up "6 times." The "fun" part of it was that he had just eaten a bowl of Lucky Charms and only made it as far as the bathroom sink...you do the math...not so freakin' lucky for moi. But, like most of us, he felt "much better" after barfing so I grabbed the infamous barf bucket and several blankets and off we went to school/work. Once at work I snuck away as soon as I was able to in an effort to buy enough ingredients to feed the entire school for my daughter's social studies project (her country was Venezuela)...(I don't even feed my own family but when in Rome...), I wanted to do my grocery shopping early just in case my son got sick again and then I wouldn't be able to back 600+Besitos de Coco (I'm not a real fan of homework...especially once one turns 38!). Once my shopping was done (and I only ran into 2 parents-good grief) I returned to work and immediately felt nauseated (although work, in general, has that effect on me...this was a little different). I was unable to do anything other than burp and moan-though not necessarily in that order. (PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THIS IS ALL STILL JUST ONE DAY!). I had to eat outside of our lunch circle as no one wanted to take the chance that I may be harboring the Swine Flu. To cure my ails I noshed on some pico de gallo and thin chips...and guess what...it worked! After lunch I felt as if nothing had ever happened and since I was feeling my oats I was then able to speed home at the end of the school/work day and begin baking...which I proceeded to do for the next four hours! And I only burnt 2 of the batches! (I also prepared a dish for another event for tomorrow evening).
FRIDAY: By now my alarm and me are no longer on speaking terms and because of this lack of communication I did not get out of bed until approximately 20 minutes before I was suppose to LEAVE THE HOUSE! By this point in my week I can't really remember my name and fully relied on habit to navigate my way to work. Once there I covertly called the band director to ask for a second permission slip because my daughter had left hers at home. I asked him not to tell her that I called because I wanted her to go grovelling to him on her own. I attended my daughter's festival of foods and sampled all of the other mothers' late-night baking/cooking projects. I dropped Visine into my eyes routinely and finally found myself on the ride back home. But, not for long, because it was now time to attend my husband's end of the year event and so I grabbed my chilled dish, took down my pony tail only to realize that there was no way the crimped hair encircling my head could be tamed so back up it went. I threw on some capris, a fairly clean shirt, and some sparkly flip flops. By 9:00 I was ready to curl up beneath a cedar tree and sleep until 2010. Since that did not happen I became a walking and talking bobble-head for the next couple of hours.
Saturday: I did not wake up until 10:30 this morning! It was glorious!
Even though my home is in total disarray I managed to ignore it all and finished watching a movie we had started last Sunday, sat outside and ate more pico while reading and writing, and visited the community dump site. All in all it was a good day.
Sunday: Remains to be seen...

HomeWork

Why is it that when your husband and kids are all away for the day...and you know they will be gone at least until after lunch time...you actually look forward to doing chores? Is it the fact that you know work needs to be done so you do it? Or is it because doing work without having others watch you working is much more gratifying? Perhaps it is because you know that what you pick up and put away will stay picked up and put away--at least until the return of the litterbugs? There is something therapeutic about the quiet hum of an "empty" house. I suppose the rhythmic tumble of the clothes dryer and the constant whirring swish of the dishwasher soothe us mothers in much the same way as those stuffed animals we put in our newborn's crib...the ones with the fetal heartbeat sounds velcroed inside of them. I think it has to do with the fact that the need to not only maintain a clean and orderly household dwells within many of us...it is just shy of an instinct. But I also think that many of us lead such harried lives that we are forced to function in disarray. This state of frenzy often masks those comforting sounds and we are no longer lulled. The televisions and ipods; the cell phones and shouts...these are the sounds of a house...but they all too often muffle the sounds of a home.

Hot Dog

The days have been a little sultry this week. I turned on the air conditioner for the first time since last year...I had to or else I was going to collapse into a puddle of melted skin...and it is only May! We had been enjoying leaving our windows open night and day but once the house heated up there was no turning back. I believe in conserving energy and saving money...I really do...but I am no longer in the mood to sweat if I don't have to.

On the flip side my little dog, Roo, is lovin' the heat. Since she is all of four pounds she tends to follow the sunny spot in the house all day long. I snapped this picture of her taking in the rays of the sun. Normally she likes to nap on the porch on the welcome mat. Not on this sunny weekend though...she actually ran out into the yard, plopped down, rolled over, and sighed. It was as if she was simply going to sniff around when all of a sudden she realized there was true warmth surrounding her and she couldn't resist it's pull...kind of like the poppy field in The Wizard of Oz. Some of us can sleep anywhere-anytime...I'm all for it!

Skipped Steps

I am in need of some good lotion. My legs are starting to grow scales…I have only recently noticed this as I have finally resorted to shaving my legs again now that the weather is warming up. I was hoping that if I drank enough water throughout the day my skin would be hydrated and look moist…uh nope…doesn’t really work that way for me. The fact is I know that if I simply applied lotion everything would be taken care of. The problem is that I am too lazy to put it on. It is ANOTHER STEP in my to-do life. Lately I have been skipping many of the regular, “normal,” steps people take to get themselves “ready.” There really are so many things that can be skipped and the world still rotates. Take shaving for example. There is no great need for me to spend the extra time needed to shave legs that are white, varicose, and dimply. These same legs are usually always hidden beneath long skirts or pants. And, if you go long enough without shaving, the pokey spikey feeling eventually goes away.
Then there is the whole hair washing scene. SKIP IT! I really do not see how women wash their hair EVERY day. Just how dirty does it get?! I for one am a big fan of baby powder…it absorbs the oils on my head and affords me another day with one less step in it.
And, even though my mother will cringe reading this next one, I must come clean and admit that I have done this, though only on very rare occasions. Going to bed with my makeup still on grants me that coveted extra ten minutes in the morning. Waterproof mascara helps my lashes appear dark and I only need to add more eyeliner to cover up any smudges.

14 Years Ago Today

Fourteen years ago today I became a mom....something that I always wanted to be. When you have a baby it is the kind of gift that makes you someone other than who you were. It is beyond words. When I first learned that I was pregnant I felt like a cog had caught hold of a gear and the wheels were finally starting to turn. This set forth an entire chain reaction and my life began to take shape. I remember the euphoria I felt at the whole miracle of life that was placed into my hands and locked within my heart. I can't look at my son without acknowledging that he gave me life. Happy Birthday, Son.

The Faux Glow

Late last night I spontaneously decided to apply a new self-tanner I had received as a gift from my mother. I have used self-tanners before so I knew to be extra careful around the toes, ankles, and knees. I wore a loose robe that only came to my knees for an hour afterward. I couldn't really see the effects of the tanner so I figured it just wasn't for me and I went on to bed. This morning I woke up and noticed there was a chill in the air...THANK GOODNESS because I would most certainly be wearing long pants today! It turns out that the tanner took effect while I snored the night away. It also turns out that I did not do such a good job when it came to my toes, ankles, and knees. The first thing I noticed was this large dark brown smudge on the top of my big toe. Then I noticed a few large white splotches surrounded by orangey-brown swirls around my ankles. My feet were outlined in what looked like a mud ring. I stood in my bathtub and scrubbed as hard as I could but there was no washing off of the self-tanner. Nevertheless I wore some gold high-heeled strappy sandals and threw some toenail polish in my purse to apply once I got to work.

It was while I was driving to work that something else caught my eye...something brown. Apparently while washing my hands after applying the goop all over my legs some of it ran down the length of my right arm. I had a perfectly tanned half of a forearm. Once again I voiced my gratitude for the unexpected cool front because it justified the wearing of long today.

Tonight I scrubbed until my orangey-brown skin turned red. Tomorrow I'm wearing a long skirt.

Who Was That Masked Mama?

What may, at first appear to be a bra for my eyes, is actually an eye mask. I swear by it and can’t sleep without it these days. The fushia earplugs are an absolute must as well. Lately we have slept with the windows open so this means that the crows of the roosters are more of a surround sound experience than a muffled yell off in the distance. The earplugs help lessen the annoying sounds of the morning as well as that irritating squeak in the motor of the ceiling fan. The way this eye mask is designed I am able to open and close my eyes freely and still remain in the dark. This comes in very handy when taking naps in the middle of the day. It also helps block out the blinding light of the moon on those evenings when it is full.

That being said, the earplugs were no match for this morning's crow-fest. I would have sworn that our roosters were perched on the foot of my bed hell-bent on getting my attention; you would have thought they were trying to tell me that Timmy was in the well for crying out loud. My bedroom is about 100 yards away from the coop while my son's is on the other side of the house--he is the one who "owns" the chickens...go figure. He is the one who was still sleeping soundly this morning.

Nevertheless I stand by the use of earplugs at night. I will admit that there were times when the kids were younger that I would have loved to stuff those babies (the earplugs---not the kids) as far down into my ear canal as possible with the sheer hope that they would provide me some much needed refuge. But I never could do it. I was always afraid that something horrible would occur and I would not be able to hear it. I just knew the police would come in to question the horrible mother who "let" something happen to her kids---I would be sacked out in bed, drool pooling near my ear, with two hot pink pieces of rubber sticking out of each ear...a feminine Frankenstein. Now that the kids are taller than I am I, quite frankly, don't want to know what they are doing!

Mindset+Sleep=Compliments

The stars must have been aligned yesterday because I received one compliment after another--all day long! Now, I say this because I have been feeling out of sorts for a while now and just this past week finally started taking control of my life...instead of letting it control me. I made certain that I got at least 8 hours of sleep on a daily basis. I watched what I ate and controlled my portions. I drank as much water as I could. I took my vitamins. I did all of the things we are always told to do. Except for the exercise part...well...that's not entirely true because yesterday I bought another exercise DVD...that counts, right? And guess what? It all started to gel. My face looked refreshed, my thinking was clear, and my energy levels were up. I've started adapting the 10-10-10 approach to decision making (more on this in another post) and I have decided to take part in the 30-Day Shred workout regime (more on this in another post as well).

And then, on Friday, BOOM! the compliments poured forth. As soon as I got to work several ladies approached me wanting to know what I was doing because I was "glowing." I shared with them my Bonne Bell makeup secret (Blend'nGlow Natural Blush...I use it as my foundation) and set off about my day. The outfit I was wearing was a hit and someone came up to me later in the day saying they didn't know who I was--they didn't recognize me from the back. At the end of the work day I went to pick up my son and while sitting in the front office a high school student complimented me on my eyes...she said they were just beautiful. Later that evening my husband told me that I looked nice today. WOW! All of this in ONE single day!

Lest I let all of this gushing go to my head, I had the following conversation with a kindergarten boy on this very same day:

boy: "Are you going to have a baby?"

me: "Do I look like I am going to have a baby?"

boy: "Yes."

me: "..."

Today I'm going to bed at 3 in the afternoon!