TTYL

I've got to hand it to all of you parents out there (mine included) who watched their child get into a car for their first official independent driving experience BEFORE  CELL PHONES HAD BEEN INVENTED!  I think that I was all cool and calm and "that's the nature of things"... but that's because I knew I would have at least the thinnest thread of contact with my son at the beginning, middle, and end of this whole "Nurture Your Child and Keep Him From Harm Only To Throw Him To The Wolves" thing called growing up (for him and me!).

Me:  "Text me AS SOON as you get there."
Him:  "I will."
Me:  "But not while you're driving."
Him:  "I know."
Me:  "Text me if you have to go ANYWHERE else."
Him:  "I will."
Me:  "But I don't want you going anywhere else."
Him:  "Okay."
Me:  "Be sure and text me AS SOON as you leave."
Him:  "I will."
Me:  "But not while you're driving."
Him:  "I won't."
Me:  "I love you."
Him:  "I love you too."
Him:  "I'm here."
Me:  (sigh of relief)  "Thanks for texting me.  Have a great day at work."
Me:  (Calling) "Why haven't you texted me yet?"
Him:  "Because I haven't left yet."
Me:  "When are you leaving?"
Him:  "In a little while.  I'll text you."
Him:  "I'm heading home."
Me:  "Thanks for texting.  Be careful."
Him:  (Walking in the door) "I'm home."
Me:    (Exhaling a prayer of gratitude)

VS:

Me: "Bye!"
My Mom:  "Bye"

It's Getting Closer

The countdown is well underway!  We are in the last week of school.  There is only a day and a half left and then time slows down.  It's as if the opportunity presents itself for that other half of me to live a little.  I love what I do but I also love doing nothing...and summer totally allows for that!  Even though I work another week after the kids are finished with school, I don't mind it at all.  There is something magical about driving my own car...by myself!  There is something liberating about being the only one awake and getting ready.  There is something incredible about walking out of the door ON TIME!  Nope...I don't mind going to work while the kids stay home....but...I don't want to do it forever!

But it's those precious, well-anticipated, last couple of days of school that make me love the job that I do.  Everyone is so excited and giddy...even the kids!  It is such a gift to be blessed with a job that allows for renewal.   

This is also the summer before my youngest enters into high school.  Next school year finds me the mother of a junior and a freshman.  We are talking an independent driver and an up coming high schooler.  Everything is getting closer....jobs, dating, proms, graduation, college.  I can remember being a kid and playing with my father's binoculars.  I can still recall having to squeeze one of my eyes shut in order to get a clear view.  My eyes are close set and the binoculars were always too wide.  I remember looking through the lens and seeing trees and fence posts in clear view.  No sooner had the objects come into view they would disappear as I jerked the binoculars away to see if I could see the same image with my own eyes.  Sometimes I could, though not distinctly...other times not at all.  I know I was fascinated with the dial in between the two lenses that allowed me to focus.  

Well...now it time for me focus.  I need to focus on being there for my children more than ever before.  I need to focus on making sure they meet deadlines...volunteer...apply for scholarships.  It's time to focus on slowing down even though life is speeding up.  Wait!  I want to turn those binoculars around so that when I look out into life things seem much farther away than they really are.  It is becoming clear to me that I am going to have to let go of the binoculars and enjoy the view that is right before me.

Too Small and Too Big at the Same Time

I knew my daughter had grown out of the majority of her clothes....but I had forgotten about the growing out of herself part of it all.  Yesterday, while purging her closet I discovered that she did, indeed, have carpeting in there after all!  Like most of us girls, my daughter gravitated toward the same few articles of clothing that were her favorites and basically ignored everything else taking up space and convincing her that she had "tons" of things to wear.  As it turns out she had good reason to neglect certain articles of clothing....especially the ones that were either four sizes too small or else resembled something a nine or ten year old would be more interested in.  Existing in the ambivalent and fuzzy area of "too big for the 'kid' section and too small for the 'adult' section, my teen daughter now has "nothing to wear."  Boy don't we all know that feeling...even with a closet full of clothes.  Like any responisble and frugal mother, I refuse to buy her anything for school until the day before it starts because she is more than likely to a)grow out of it the following week, and b)drastically change her opinion of what's "cool" based upon all of the look-alikes who flit about campus.  This "wait until August" approach does not sit well with my daughter but I am holding my ground.  As I held up each piece of clothing for her to say "yay" or "nay" to I had to admit that I, too, could instantly see most of it was a "nay."  Especially when I came to the oh so tiny denim mini skirt and little white shoes.....wait a minute!! She never wore that?!  This little "outfit" belonged to one of her stuffed animals....a beloved rabbit who was way better dressed than she ever was!  It was at this point when I realized that not only was my daughter outgrowing all of the clothes I just bought for her less than six months ago, but that she was also outgrowing all of the things that little girls play with as well.  No, I don't wish she would stay little forever...and, no, I don't reserve any tears for the years of following a toddler around....but I do realize that time is beginning to whiz by a little faster than it ever did before....which is weird in the sense that when life is crazy insane it seems like you are stuck in a time warp with no end in sight (such as when babies keep you up all night....such as when they only want to be held while you're attempting to eat dinner....such as when you have to pack, prepare, buckle up, unbuckle, carry inside--just to pump gas--and then repeat the whole process backward just to drive back home).  And yet, when your kids are finally old enough to bathe themselves, afford you the luxury of eating an entire bowl of cereal in one sitting, and actually teach you things....well time just whips right past you before you even have a chance to glance down at your watch.  On the bright side....I don't have to buy clothes for inanimate objects anymore.....unless you consider a teenager an inanimate object!

Brace Yourself

My thirteen year old daughter got braces today.  Prior to this her life was "over" at the mere thought.  Now...not so much.  The hardest part (for me) was listening to her list of worries (she's a brooder like her mother).  While I could certainly understand her plight I found it hard to relate as I was pretty much "okay with it" when I got braces at her age.  Her teeth are relatively straight...it's more of a "jaw alignment issue" for her.  We're looking at approximately 14 months of payments...er...braces. The price tag is a definite eye-opener for a bargain hunter like me.  Wouldn't it be nice if items such as braces went on sale every now and then?  BOGO BRACES!!! (that's Payless Shoe's "Buy One Get One" slogan for those of you who may not have ever shopped at a place with "Pay Less" in its title).  As for me...I absolutley love thrift stores and rummage shops.  In fact, earlier in the day I purchased a diamond ring for $4.77...same price I paid for the chair I'm sitting in right now!  Okay...I'll admit...there's a slight chance the "diamond"  (which is at least 1 carat) is not real.....but....it could be.  But back to the braces.....while I probably wouldn't buy a set of "gently worn" braces for my daughter it would be nice to find them on sale.  The very thought of plunking down a LOT of money on anything gets me all queasy inside and yet today I handed over a check in which the amount box was a tad too small for the amount.  And I was buying something that A)my daughter did NOT want; B)was going to sink my daughter's self esteem; and C)was, quite frankly, not fashionable.  Can you just imagine what I could have bought instead??  We're talking items the likes of A)a sports car; B)a small swimming pool; and C)an entirely fun, cute, and fashionable wardrobe!  It's so weird how we deprive ourselves of some of the things we want because they cost so much and yet we'll fork over the funds for items such as A)a new transmission; B)a new pump for a dried up well; and C)torture devices for our children because...let's face it....they all could use a little straightening up....and, darn it, you just can't put a price tag on that.

Hit a Bump, Mama!

Sometimes life just gets too hot to handle. Sometimes you just need to Hit a Bump. You see, long before I could drive I took up residence in the back seat of my mother's chocolate brown Oldsmobile Delta Eighty-Eight. This vehicle of ours was affectionately referred to as "The Heap." There was nothing in my life more mortifying than being driven up to the middle school in The Heap. Picture, if you will, a rattle-trap of coughs and sputters and oftentimes black smoke. If you listen closely you'll even hear the high-pitched squeak and eventual POP of the door being opened and closed. I was never more religious than when praying that the Brown Turd would not die right there in front of the peers of my adolescent youth. The cream colored rooftop had the look of a ragged carpet as its peels flapped in the wind. The silver duct tape with the blackened and curled edges held the backseat's vinyl in place. My poor mother...she always wanted to drop me off front and center. Didn't she know the reason I vehemently argued to be dropped off a couple of blocks before the school?
I guess I never really went all out and explained to her that I was embarrassed as all get out. I suppose I did not want to hurt her feelings...I think I knew, on some level, that she was doing her best to keep her own head held high.
She always kept her composure--even when she would turn off the ignition only to have the car shake and wobble and rumble for an entire minute and a half. In some aspects it was fun for my sister and I to experience such an amusement park ride in the comfort of our own car---the duct tape holding us safely in place. But in other ways it was yet another moment filled with the terror of being seen by another human being.
Having lived in an old green-shingled farm house without such amenities as central air and heat for over 20 years I can attest to the fact that the summers in the Texas Hill Country can get quite sticky. To this day I can still recall sitting in the backseat of the Heap with the windows down as Mom drove us to town to go the local store aptly named Poor Boy, Inc...or PBI as the townsfolk called it. The back road we traveled had all kinds of twists and turns and many hills and dips. There was always one section of the road that-if hit just right-would trigger the air conditioning in the car to come on. Whenever this happened it was glorious! We'd all whoop and holler and crank up the windows as quickly as we could so as to trap the cool air inside. From that moment on, every time we got in the car, my sister and I would always call out, "Hit a Bump, Mama!"
I have found that there are many bumps along the road we all must travel and sometimes we have to hit bottom before we can start to feel any relief.