Anybody Home?

Now this sounds like my kind of place!!  I couldn't help but to visualize a wrought-iron staircase spiralling down beneath the street's surface.  A kind of "cobwebby" kind of place....complete with an oddly quiet front desk manager.  The kind of place where all sounds of the "outside world" are completely muffled and you get the intense feeling that, even though you are the only one in the whole place....you are not as alone as you think.  A place where keys are unneccessary because the walls can't contain the spirits who serve you.  But if you are brave enough to stay...you eventually discover the lever to the hidden staircase in the wine cellar....and that's where you find a colorful and lively party of nobody's living it up!

The Mesa Verde Cliff Dwellings....unbelievable.  Yeah....and do you know how you get to be able to view them?  You hike!  You climb!  You pant!  Yup....another day on "vacation" I was tricked into exercising!

You had me at STOP

  

 

Recently, while on "vacation," I came across 3 signs...the first one said "STOP," the second one said "CAUTION," and the third one said, "BE PREPARED."  Where were the "RELAX", "ENJOY", and "POOL THIS WAY" signs??? The words of Goldie Hawn's character in "Overboard" kept ringing in my ears: "I'm not supposed to be here!" Like Alice in Wonderland, I was beginning to wonder just what I was getting myself into. (How I wish the signs had been "EAT ME" or "DRINK ME!")  I was begining to ascend down down down into the rabbit hole...er...Carlsbad Caverns.  A huge hole in the ground...the dank, dark, cold, no one will be able to find you kind of hole.  And I was doing this because I was on VACATION.  Huh?  Wait just a second....did I just get tricked into exercising?! 

Compact Car

I drive a VW Jetta TDI.  I love my car.  I truly do.  I love it for multiple reasons.  One of the top reasons is that it gets, on average, 47-48 mpg! This comes in handy during family roadtrip vacations such as the one we just returned from.  The four of us, two adults and two teenagers, rode in our compact car from the Texas Hill Country, through New Mexico, up into Colorado, and back again over the past week.  And we brought all our stuff with us.  I don't know what it is, but I absolutely have to have my stuff with me--as in surrounding me and touching me at all times...kind of like my very own jackdaw nest.  Only....I totally need my space!  This poses quite the problem for me because, although I finally packed "light" (instead of a gigantic suitcase on wheels I brought a small suitcase on wheels...and a duffel...and a "bathroom/cosmetic pouch"...and a tote for all of my reading material...and a small backpack for all of the charger cords for our electronics......)
Luckily my son has been immersing himself in all things Bear Grylls so he packed like a true survivor and basically left home with the clothes he had on his back, and binoculars.  My daughter, thank goodness, does not have the pack rat/girl scout mentality of her mother and could carry her "luggage" in both hands.  Since my kids' legs are now longer than their torsos there was no way I would be able to scoot or lay my seat back.  Even when sitting in the back seat with my daughter for a while I had to convince my spine that it was comfortable in a twisted position.  But, with the help of my eyemask, my earplugs, and a couple Advil too many I lived to tell the tale.  We had a great time and were able to see some pretty amazing things.  Like the time my daughter got to stare at the soles of my feet for a couple hundred miles.

What a Crock

I had this crazy notion that once I was at home for the summer I'd be able to live life the way I was intended.  I assumed I'd be able to wake up refreshed from all the lounging I did the day before.  I figured I'd actually sip my coffee for hours (instead of spilling it on me en route to work).  I just knew I'd do all of this ALONE while my TEENAGERS SLEPT LATE.  I know...I'm insane.  The problem with that diagnosis is that no will even come and take me away.  You see...it's "that time in MY life" where "time off" translates as "time to cater to my children's needs."  Who do they think they are expecting me to rise and shine TO AN ALARM on my days off?!  I certainly don't recall reading this fine print anywhere in the parenting manual the lactation nurse left in my custody all those years ago.  Come to think of it I don't recall much of anything anymore.  All I know is that I thought our schedule was frenetic and on the verge of emploding while school was in session.  Ha! 
For the past couple of weeks I've counted myself lucky if I left my house with at least some form of clothing on at least one part of it.  This is because my son wakes up BEFORE his chickens.  He exercises BEFORE my coffee pot even clicks on!  (I'm thinking of having him evaluated....something is not right....).
I love him dearly nonetheless...especially since he inherited every gene I don't have.  And have I mentioned that this strange beast is ALWAYS HUNGRY!  Yeah...'bout that....  
This is the ultimate kink in my chord.  How on Earth is one expected to prepare a meal ...a hearty meal...fit for a growing boy before he attends a strength and speed "camp" 4 days a week for a MONTH?!?  HOW?!  I haven't even had "my time" out on the porch sipping coffee and flipping magazine pages!  I haven't been able to "ease into my day."  I AM NOT AWAKE!  Gone are the "pour yourself some cereal" days.  So too are the "how about some toast and jelly?" mornings.  Now I am expected to turn on the stove and measure multiple ingredients, all before 7:00 in the morning...IN  THE SUMMER! What a crock!

Simply Stuffed

Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!  That's what I kept telling myself that I was going to do as soon as I was off for the summer.  I mentally prepared myself to toss everything I ever owned except for my coffee maker...and my mug...and my favorite blanket....oh yeah...and that little swallow's nest I found on the ground.......

This was obviously going to be harder than I thought.  I've steeled myself against sentimentality...I don't want to live in clutter and be surrounded by junk only to one day die and have a house full of strangers pick through my belongings.  I want to own my stuff rather than having it own me (yes, I've been reading "How To Organize" books...but now I have so many of them I don't know where to put them)!

I go back and forth between craving a minimalist and modern existence free from clutter and opting instead for my "lived in/everything has a story" reality.  Every now and then I pretend that at tornado is on its' way and realize that not much of it really matters anyway...I would certainly live without my dust collectors...yes, life would go on.  I've thought often about the possibility of boxing up all of my stuff and storing it (but that would mean I'd have to purchase a barn the size of a warehouse). 

Everytime I opt to carry a small purse I inevitably need my hand sanitizer, my laundry stick, some tissue, the bug spray, and a travel pillow.  But when I bring my huge purse...okay...BAG...I can't find any of the items I know are in there.  I like being prepared...I just don't like to prepare.  I am getting extremly tired of thinking ahead and predicting any and all possible outcomes to any situation that might present itself.  Since I've been off work I've packed and unpacked twice and am getting ready to pack again.  Both times I overdid it..as usual.  Both times I didn't have what I needed/wanted... or did I? 

NeverAgainLand

As the days passed it became painfully clear we must have taken the 2nd star to the left as we traveled straight on 'til morning.  We were nowhere near the likes of Neverland.  We had ended up in NeverAgainLand...AGAIN!  That's right folks, I took another trip to the coast...something I totally recall saying "Never Again" to last year...and the year before that.....

So why did I commit?  ...ah yes....I have KIDS....kids who like to go to the beach!  Kids who don't have to worry about packing, providing, or applying sunscreen in a timely manner because....well...because they have a brooding chick to take care of all that!  So, after a sticky day spent on the beach I immediately jumped into the fresh, clean, clear, refreshing water of the swimming pool...THE best feeling of the day!!  I was FINALLY grit free!!  After a few flips and handstands I noticed a couple sunning themselves on an upper deck.  I loved how the only thing I could see was their shadows through the mesh.  My first thoughts were of Peter Pan and his playful shadow.  Were these two people real? Or had they been reduced to mere shadows of their former selves? 

I enjoyed spending vacation time with family but I am not the world's biggest fan of sand, sweat, and sunburnt skin (see posts: "She's Gone Coastal" 6/30/08 & "The Beach is for the Birds" 7/29/09).  But as I observed the animated shadows in front of me I began to feel lighter myself.  I was rinsed, refreshed, and ready to proceed with the evening now that I had "bathed" myself in the pool (one less chore to deal with later on).  I started to realize that, like Peter Pan, our childhoods should be filled with happy thoughts and fun adventures.  Sure, there are ticking clocks around every corner and even a couple of pirates here and there wanting to steal the things we treasure most.  But if our treasures are our memories...well...no one can take those from us. 

And so, in an effort to gift my children with a summer memory of time spent with grandparents, parents, and each other...memories of body surfing, boogie boarding, and wave jumping...countless hours of dominoes, inside jokes, and giggling until the inevitable happens.....I took a trip to NeverAgainLand....again.

Gypsy

Sitting on the couch with my daughter's legs resting across my own. We are connected via the sharing of earbuds. She is sharing a new song she downloaded onto her iPod today; Shakira's "Gypsy." I'm still learning the lyrics but so far I like the idea of being free...free from all of the things that hold me back...free to be me. I also love the idea of being a part of my daughter's world as opposed to being apart from it.

In the morning we will leave for a mini vacation to the beach. We will embrace the opportunity to walk barefoot in the sand...free from our tight-fitting shoes and all of the other things that bind and limit us. We shall be free...gypsies in the sand.

The Beach is for the Birds!

Yes, t'was I who ranted on and on about vacations in a previous post...but due to a spontaneous moment of weakness (and desperation) we packed an overnight bag and drove down to the coast. You know...one last "hurrah!" before summer ends (although with the current heat wave I'm beginning to think summer may be a lot longer lasting this year). Of course, we made the jaunt for the kids. WHY ELSE WOULD YOU SUBJECT YOURSELF TO THE STICKY ELEMENTS??!! WHY???? I have heard that other beaches are glorious...they must be what with all of the magazine spreads of people walking the beach IN THEIR CARDIGAN SWEATERS! This is simply UNIMAGINABLE down here in Texas. For someone like me the coast is something to be endured "for the sake of the children." I could have just as easily stayed home in the air conditioning and slammed my fingers in the car door---would have had the same effect. Although I could have actually simulated the whole "experience" by turning up my heater, slathering myself with baby oil, jumping into a sand-filled bathtub, standing in front of a fan so that my hair whips and twists and ultimately sticks to my lips and gets in my eyes, and then, for the coup de gras, sticking my head in the oven!

Yes, the ocean fascinates me...yes, I love dolphins...no, I do not like sitting beneath a tarp with my arms bent out like a buzzard cooling itself in the wind.

FakeAtion

I'm still a little confused by the term "StayCation." I mean, I get it that "they" are trying to promote all of the possibilities one has to explore in their own home town...the problem I have with it is that IT STILL COSTS MONEY to frequent those venues!!! If the whole concept is to actually save money (or better yet not even spend it) how about not going anywhere people?! Allow me to introduce my brainchild: The FakeCation. Without spending a penny I have been enjoying a place that I missed being at for the past ten months: my very own HOME! I LOVE being HOME!!! So far, on my fakecation I have enjoyed the luxury of sleeping in, watching movies on tv, and reading. There have even been a few times when I have "ventured out" and spent some down time on the porch---at no charge! Yes, I would love to be able to travel more and visit new places. Sure, I would like to "get away" and experience new things. But in this fast-paced rat-race world I truly do enjoy slowing down. I like to stop and listen to the song birds and watch the sun rise and set. I have even been known to wear a fluffly white robe and sip hot tea while out on my no-fee porch pretending that I was at some swanky mountaintop spa. In the evenings I've enjoyed a glass of merlot while wrapped in a lightweight blanket engrossed in a book. Without paying a cent I gained a huge return...and there's nothing fake about that!

It's Like Beating a Dead Rug

It must be the heat...it has to be...for I actually swept, vacuumed, and mopped part of my house......I know!!! But, after "walking" for half an hour hunched over trying to coerce dirt particles to release their grip within all of the score lines in our concrete I decided I could call it a day...I mean...I was tuckered and my back hurt. I think housework is bad for my health!

All throughout the school year I kept telling myself that I would clean my house once I was off for the summer. And then summer hit. Why on Earth would I want to clean house, now?! When I'm on vacation?! I just didn't make a lick of sense. And, considering the fact that I prefer to simply throw things away rather than clean, fix, or wash them I was stuck with the dilemma of just how does one go about throwing away their house?! It would be sooo much easier to simply relocate into a sparse, clean, condo somewhere...with all white furniture...and windows you could actually see out of...and maid service...and....

Then the realization hit that if I wanted some semblance of clean I would have to do it and I would have to do it now. So, rather than vacuuming the rugs I drug them outside and flopped them over the fence. I beat the filth out of them with a broom and then lugged them back inside--knowing full well that they would be riddled with dirt within the hour. That's the thing about cleaning...there is no long-lasting result. Take mopping for example: now my floors are just clean enough that you can see the tread from my flip flops as I followed along behind the mop (why are there riding lawn mowers and not riding mops? It's not like footprints show up in the grass. Hmmmmm....)

So, even though it will be hard to tell that I actually cleaned the house by the time evening comes I can at least say that I did it. Another exciting rendition of "How I Spent My Summer Vacation."

Those Lazy Days of Summer

Last night I stayed up late (until 12:00 a.m.) thus calling for the need to sleep in (until 9:30 a.m.) thus resulting in the need for a nap (at 5:00 p.m.). As you can see I am simply worn out! This not working routine has me exhausted! It has me wondering how in the heck do I do it all when I am working?? Wow! I am fearful that if I had tons of money and did not go to work I would sleep just enough to feel rested enough to feel like sleeping again. But this ultimately has me realizing that I would no longer have bags underneath my eyes which means I would not have to apply concealer which means I would not even begin to know how to exist without the need to conceal, cover up, and create a "natural" look. And so, I am resigned to the fact that no matter how much I catch up on my sleep during these glorious summer months off I will ultimately end up looking like I thrive on all-nighters when back at work. Nevertheless the chance to be a relaxed and lounging soul has me feeling completely content. Plus...since I am wide awake now at 8:30 p.m. I must treat myself to a glass or two or four of wine so that I can partake in falling asleep for the second time today.

Now, lest you think I stayed horizontal all day long I must divulge that I did, in fact, do a little light cleaning and straightening....that is until it pooped me out and I had to retire to the couch for some History Channel viewing (one must stay educated). With the temperature over 100 degrees one can't blame me for wanting nothing more than to keep myself hydrated and rested...heat stroke is not something one should take lightly.

Land that I Love

On this, the 4th of July, I want to say that I love the fact that I am able to walk up and down the streets of a large and busy city and see beauty and history as I do. I have the freedom to visit places and teach my children about their world. I realize that I am fortunate to be able to do so as many others do not have such liberties. I am grateful that I live in a country whose men and women so honorably fight and sacrifice their lives for. Because of them my family was able to spend a day walking freely along sidewalks and streets marveling at all of the sights and sounds that crossed our path.

It's All Coming Back to Me Now

To celebrate the homecoming of my kids after being away on vacation with their grandparents we all went downtown and enjoyed a day of sightseeing and eating...an intact family of four...together again...that is until my daughter and I were separated from dad and brother while trying not to vomit in public. Maybe it was the heat...maybe it was the overwhelming joy at being back home...who knows...either way my daughter got sick right as our dinner was served to us-outdoors-on the Riverwalk. After spending way too long in a public bathroom teetering over the toilet as to avoid actually having to touch anything my daughter and I decided to play it safe and cover the floor and toilet seat with some paper towels. Fortunately the bathroom had decorative Saltillo tile and was somewhat "decent" considering other public options. As I sat on the bathroom floor, beneath the diaper changing station, dabbing the back of my daughter's neck with a wet paper towel, in the "larger-more spacious" stall, I could not help but to think that I was being punished for reveling in and enjoying my "vacation" from parenting. It was as if the kids were retuned to me and then, in less than 24 hours, I was reduced to collecting E-Coli on my knees and bottom while foregoing dining in public. I was instantly reminded that I was a parent NO MATTER WHAT and that my duties still include being there and supporting my children...I just sometimes wish they would work on their timing!

Back in the Nest

My chicks are coming home!!! My brood has been away from home for 11 days-IN A ROW!!! Okay, I'll admit it...it was delightful...the being home ALONE part of it all. But, now that the time has come I am actually starting to get a little bit excited about seeing my kids again. This was the first time they have ever been away from home longer than a couple of days so it was a big deal for all of us. I can't wait to hear their voices and listen to their stories. Us Mamas want our chicks to venture out and scratch and peck on their own...but in the end...it's always good when they come back home to the nest.

Adios to Them...Hello to Me!

My kids are on vacation with their grandparents...this translates as I AM ON VACATION!! I think I am supposed to miss them...but I don't. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they have NEVER been away for any extended period of time in 14 years! IT'S TIME PEOPLE!!! For me, I would much rather "vacation" AT HOME...ALONE!!! Therefore, I must say, this past week has been simply glorious. First of all I can relax in their absence knowing that they are old enough to fend for themselves, they are so darn excited, and they are in good hands. Secondly, not since the birth of my first child have I had so much time on my hands. Since my husband is gone during the daytime I have been free to lounge around and be lazy and I have been able to split town at a moment's notice if for no other reason than just because.

With the use of our amazing technology I have been able to keep up with the kids and their travels. They are enjoying sending texts and pictures electronically...and I am enjoying receiving them. I have still had to balance out my days trying to ensure that I fit in enough of everything and nothing before the clock strikes twelve. Take right now for example...I am sitting in the public library checking my emails and typing away. Earlier this morning I woke up, shuffled to the couch, and then fell back asleep for another two hours. Yesterday I watched an entire movie before 10:00 a.m. and then I went shopping...all by myself! The day before that I went shopping with my best friend and had a great day. Last night I had dinner with my husband. I have painted my toenails three different colors, finished one book and started another, and actually cooked a meal. I am extremely grateful for this sneak peek into the possibilites that lie before me in my not so distant future. I don't want to come across as a selfish person who wants to quit her job as mother...it's just that some times I need to recharge and reconnect with myself...and this week I am doing just that...and it is all good!

Put a Cork In It!

It's time to bid adieu to my glorious two-week vacation. When my alarm sounds tomorrow morning it will be a rude and abrupt reminder that my days of sleeping in until ten are over...as are my nights of staying up until 1 a.m. Fortunately for me tomorrow is classified as a "work day" which means only staff will be there...no kids. This translates as: I will be able to get things done! Except when I am busy catching up with all of my work family. Days like these are great because we get to actually eat a "real" lunch which lasts longer than the usual 15 minutes! I am fortunate in the fact that I truly love what I do and as far as work is concerned I have the best job in the world!! That being said, if I ever do win the lottery I will let someone else love my best job in the world pronto!

One thing that bugs the heck out of me is when people say "I wouldn't want to stay home...I'd get so bored." BORED?! ARE YOU SERIOUS PEOPLE?!? If there is 1 thing that I never am...it is bored. As a matter of fact, as a child, I was never even allowed to use the "bad" word "boring." Instead, I could only say that something was "uneventful." (Now you can probably see why I was never bor-unevented). I honestly believe that I would enjoy every last minute of being alone on an island...well...not the starvation part of it...or the survival part of it...but at least the being alone part of it. I am as much at home in solitude as I am in festivities (though I prefer the former to the latter). Being in the field of education I truly have the best of both worlds. With both of my kids in school all of us are on the same schedule so it all works out...well...everything except the laundry, the dishes, the meals, the housekeeping, the sanity.....

Anyway, I am trying to mentally prepare myself for what we in the business of educating the youth call "the long haul" (the second semester of school...many many many consecutive days of working without another day off!). Tomorrow is like a test run...a chance to ease back into the "routine" of chaos.

I am already looking forward to that glass of merlot when I come home!

While the Cat's Away the Mice Will Play

While some of us were nestled in our warm and cozy beds dreaming of far away places, others of us were jumping out of bed ready to face the day. My son is so excited to be able to go on a hunt down in South Texas with his dad, grandfather, uncle, and cousin, that he was dressed and ready to go by the time I stumbled out of bed. If I had not set an alarm he would have left without me ever knowing it....sons. I sat down at the kitchen table with him while he ate a bowl of cereal and I diligently took notes on what I needed to do to take care of his chickens in his absence. I loved seeing him eager and happy.

With all the guys out of the house for at least a day and a half-maybe two-My daughter and I will have some quiet time together. What to do? What to do? Later on this evening we have a girls' night planned at the house. We are going to watch Mama Mia and paint our nails. We might even pop some good old fashioned Jiffy Pop Popcorn. The fridge is stocked with mini Cokes and Sunny Delight...life is good! There's a chance she and I may make our way into S.A. to do a little bumming around--just because we can. But until the stores open their doors, and while she's still asleep, I think I may just enjoy a quiet cup of coffee and watch the Today Show...celebrating the first day of my vacation that I got out of bed before 10:00!!!

Seasonings Greetings

This is as close to a Christmas card as you'll get from me. I hate to be such a hypocrite as I absolutely love it when I get Christmas cards in the mail...especially the photo cards. I enjoy seeing the faces of people I don't get to see otherwise. I love the pictures of families with kids-tracking their growth through the seasons. I love my family too and would really like to show them off...but that involves not only planning, but preplanning...something I simply do not do. I am much more likely to, on a whim, send out a photo card on, say, April 14th--for no other reason than it was either a good hair day, or all the stars were aligned and our clothes were washed.

I am quite fearful as to what my "traditions" will be when I am the grandma. Right now I am lobbying for a silver airstream trailer with a swivel-hipped hula girl on the dash. I'll get me a computer with a skype cam and send my kids/grandkids on something like "The Amazing Race" with getting to see me if they can find me as the grand prize.

For now, though, I am simply grateful for turtle-paced days and empty agendas. I don't know the headlines of the day nor the forecasts for tomorrow. I eat when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired, and read when I want to. I am spending time with time itself and we are quite compatible. It's as if I feel the need to roll around in and absorb myself with all 24 hours of each day. I want to build up a reservoir of time so that when I have not a minute to spare I can reach deep down into my time bank. Of course, it does not really work that way, and, sadly, I know that. Nevertheless I try every day to do as much and as little as possible in an effort to utilize and stretch the gift of time I have received this holiday season.

Oh The Weather Outside

What a gorgeous day we had yesterday---the temps were in the upper 70s!! It's days like these that have me seriously contemplating running away to the equator to live out the rest of my days! When I was much younger and oh so much dumber I thought it all wrong to spend Christmas on the beach??!!! WHAT were "those people" thinking?! NOW I know! Even though the weather was delightful I managed to stay inside nestled in the crook of my chair-then my bed-then my couch-reading the day away...it was glorious!!! My family played outside, and for that I am extremely grateful...for their sake as well as my sanity!! At one point in the afternoon all of the boys loaded up in the jeep and drove down to the creek. The younger boys went swimming! The day after Christmas!! My kids had a great day as their cousins had their cousins over from out of town so there were plenty of kids around! At one point I made myself get OUT so I grabbed my book, a Coke, and sat out on the porch with Roo and Snickers. I was so glad that I did because everytime I sit in nature I become so inspired. The air was crisp and the breeze was pleasant. It was as if all was well in the world. As I type these words the sky is turning a dark, steely, grey and the wind is picking up. Days like these are welcome too because they force my home into cozy mode; candles burning, lights twinkling, hot tea brewing. (Okay...before I finished that last sentence it became seriously dark and blustery....maybe we'll get a genuine storm soon!).