Stepping Up

When we are little everything is out of reach. But, somehow, we manage to find a way to get what we are after. Sometimes we just want a peek; to see what the grown ups see. When we are on the other side of those tippy toes we realize that the good stuff really is getting to lick the icing off of the cake topper. Sure, we've been told "No" even as adults, but we still sometimes just want a little peek; not so much to see it all, but to be included in the seeing aspect of it. It boils down to wanting to be a part of all that is going on around us. Sometimes the viewing is simple: we just need to open our eyes and enjoy. Other times the sight before us can be blinding and not really what we wanted to see at all. Mostly though, I have found that if I want to catch a glimpse of something that is important to me I have to step up and even step over all of the things that stand in my way.

Just the other night, while having a conversation with God, I had what I can honestly call a vision (I'd call it a dream but I wasn't asleep). I had asked God to show me how to deal with a certain situation in my life. The image that played out in my mind went something like this: I was walking through a black-walled canyon. The walls were craggy and steep and the pathway was narrow and crumbly. With each step that I took large chunks of black rock separated from and slid down the canyon walls. There were times the rock pile before me was taller than I was, but I still walked forward. I was never crushed by the boulders...I simply climbed over them (and every time I got to the top of a pile I noticed that the rock was flat--perfect for standing on and observing from). I took away the message that I should not let anything stand in my way of going where I want to go. There will be times when the going won't be so smooth-but hey, that's life. When I was finished praying I felt stronger...taller...as if I were on my tippy toes...getting a little peek at the Good Life.

Night Light

I have a little angel
She's plugged into the wall
I turn her on at night
To ensure I do not fall
While walking through the house
After everyone's asleep
I'm comforted by her presence
While down the hall I creep
She lets me know I'm not alone
That everything's alright
I won't stumble I won't fall
While she's shining bright
But just the other morning
When I came out of my room
I noticed the lack of light
I was filled with impending doom
When I reached the outlet
My angel was not there
I found her later on
Lying in a chair
It seems that the light of my angel
Was just a tad too bright
And so my angel of a son
Removed my little light

And so the battle wages on

We silently stand our ground

I plug her in and turn her on

He lays her on the ground

I understand he needs the dark

To help him fall asleep

But I also know that in the night

Our guardians we must keep

Something's a Little Fishy

Don't you just hate it when you know what you want...when what you want is right there in front of your eyes...but you just can't quite reach it/have it/get it? Isn't it frustrating when the only thing separating you from reaching your goal is...you? So often what we seek is not only right in front of our eyes but within reach--if only we adjust our approach; our point of view.

There have been several times when the answer was a rather simple one but I had gone about finding it the hard way; kind of like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Although I am not fortunate enough to own a pair of ruby slippers, I do have access to something even more powerful-prayer. As my thoughts turn toward the new year ahead of me I can't help but to think of things such as my 20th high school reunion, my family, my parents, my dilapidated life. Will I be able to remain positive and focused? Will I be able to muster enough patience to make it through a single day? Will I find myself at the end of '09 thinking and doing the exact same things I've been thinking and doing my whole life? Will I be a good parent? Will my kids make smart decisions and wise choices? Obviously I can't spend the next 364 days worrying about all of these things...this is where prayer comes in to play. I don't want to come across as being flippant, but I have found a way to let go of all of that which makes me feel queasy...all that hinders me and weighs me down...I pray. God is so amazing that He would do this for me...he takes it all so I don't have to succumb to fear or worry. The hard part is for me to remember to talk to Him about what's on my mind on a daily basis. But, whenever I do, He lifts the burdens away and I am able to sleep at night.

Like my cat, Snickers, I am growing tired of chasing after the things that I want in life only to find out I had seen them in a refracted light...everything was not quite as it seemed. Perhaps the things that I have been longing for most have been right in front of me the whole time...maybe it is time to adjust my approach; my point of view...and pray.