Loaded

No matter how many pep talks I give myself I can never quite shake the sense of doom that descends upon me about a week before school starts.  I always tell myself that this year I won't get all flustered and life won't be all frantic because I'll stay organized and on top of things.  And then, on the evening of the first day, I start getting a tick above my right eye and I end up staying up way too late signing more forms than one should ever have to sign at any given time.  Because I have stayed up too late I have trouble getting up in the morning.  Because I have trouble getting up in the morning I invariably run late. Whenever I'm running late (usually from August until June), I tend to get grouchy.  Along with grouchiness comes grogginess, and grumpiness (the modern day dwarfs who befriend Sleepless Not-So-Beauty).

I keep telling myself that since my kids are older, this year will be a lot easier on me.  And then, on the evening of the first day of school, my throat tightens up in an attempt to keep certain words from spilling out...words that parents should simply keep in their heads while they smile and nod.  All of a sudden my kids' loads at school are getting heavier; their responsibilities and activities are increasing.  As a result my parental load becomes oversized.  I can't help but to feel weak when I know I must be strong.  I want to lessen their load but I know it is only through these heavy trials that true character is developed.  My prayer is that we can all yoke together and carry one another's load in an effort to balance each other out.    May all of you who are experiencing heavy burdens find the strength to bear them and eventually release them.  Hopefully the loads we all carry are filled with the blessings and opportunities needed to help us become the best of who we were designed to be.

It's Getting Closer

The countdown is well underway!  We are in the last week of school.  There is only a day and a half left and then time slows down.  It's as if the opportunity presents itself for that other half of me to live a little.  I love what I do but I also love doing nothing...and summer totally allows for that!  Even though I work another week after the kids are finished with school, I don't mind it at all.  There is something magical about driving my own car...by myself!  There is something liberating about being the only one awake and getting ready.  There is something incredible about walking out of the door ON TIME!  Nope...I don't mind going to work while the kids stay home....but...I don't want to do it forever!

But it's those precious, well-anticipated, last couple of days of school that make me love the job that I do.  Everyone is so excited and giddy...even the kids!  It is such a gift to be blessed with a job that allows for renewal.   

This is also the summer before my youngest enters into high school.  Next school year finds me the mother of a junior and a freshman.  We are talking an independent driver and an up coming high schooler.  Everything is getting closer....jobs, dating, proms, graduation, college.  I can remember being a kid and playing with my father's binoculars.  I can still recall having to squeeze one of my eyes shut in order to get a clear view.  My eyes are close set and the binoculars were always too wide.  I remember looking through the lens and seeing trees and fence posts in clear view.  No sooner had the objects come into view they would disappear as I jerked the binoculars away to see if I could see the same image with my own eyes.  Sometimes I could, though not distinctly...other times not at all.  I know I was fascinated with the dial in between the two lenses that allowed me to focus.  

Well...now it time for me focus.  I need to focus on being there for my children more than ever before.  I need to focus on making sure they meet deadlines...volunteer...apply for scholarships.  It's time to focus on slowing down even though life is speeding up.  Wait!  I want to turn those binoculars around so that when I look out into life things seem much farther away than they really are.  It is becoming clear to me that I am going to have to let go of the binoculars and enjoy the view that is right before me.

Floored

Just the other day I had some time to spare between getting off work and picking up my daughter after school.  I drove on over to the nearest gas station to grab some drinks for the ride home, and after parking the car I flung open my door and then leaned over to the passenger's seat to grab my purse.  As I was doing so my heavy door started to swing shut.  I stopped it with my foot and thrust it back open (as it takes me a ridiculously long amount of time to gain enough leverage to heft my ridiculously heavy purse up and over to my shoulder--while in the sitting position).  Once again the door would not remain open and swung back with a vengenance resulting in yet another kick from me.  When I finally emerged from my car I saw that a man in a truck was patiently waiting to pull in to the spot next to me.  He was pointing and his mouth was moving in an animated fashion.  Uh-oh.  Immediately I was convicted of being one of "those people" who I point and mouth at...you know...the ones who take FOREVER to get out of their car, turn the corner, or back out of a parking space.  The odd thing was that this man was smiling.  I felt compelled to walk over to him ignoring all the internal voices shouting "stranger danger" to me. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I immediatly began to plead.  But the gentleman (yes, now he is a gentleman) politely laughed and told me he thought I was his friend "Jerry" who drives the same kind of car that I do.  He thought Jerry was just messing with him on purpose--ha.  I then went on to tell him that I thought he may be pointing to my open gas tank or a possible flat tire.  Fortunately neither of these things occurred and as he and I walked toward the station's front doors he told me "Life is too short to be in a hurry." 

Relieved that our encounter was a pleasant one I paid for my bottled waters and rushed back out to my car (life may be too short to be in a hurry but when the school bell rings and the parent line backs up and you have to pick up two children at two different schools at the same exact time...well...life's too rushed to slow down sometimes).  In my haste I quickly clicked the unlock button on my key fob and flopped into the driver's seat.  As my purse was being flung up and over to the passenger seat I could not believe what I was seeing...someone had stolen my floor mats!  (take a look at the above picture and you'll understand that I wasn't so surprised that I was a victim as I was stunned at the fact that someone would want my country-fied floor mats---caked with caliche, chicken schtuff, and who knows what else).  And then the eyes of clarity descended on the fact that not only were my floor mats stolen...but so was all of the trash that thrives in my car!  The used tissues, the crumpled papers, the permission slips, the broken pencils, the empty water bottles, the hair brushes.....all of it....GONE!  Instantly I was shocked that my car could look so clean...and then I began to register the smell of the car....something wasn't right....OMG!  I WAS SITTING IN SOMEONE ELSE'S CAR!!!!!  I felt like I had landed in the Goldilocks and the Three Bears story...."....and she's STILL HERE!"  My mind started going into overdrive as I began recalling the fact that there were two policemen inside the station...my biggest fear, being wrongly convicted, was getting ready to happen...any minute the car's owner would see me sitting in the driver's seat and yell to the two cops, "SHE'S STEALING MY CAR!!!  AFTER HER!!!"  I grabbed my purse like it was a tiny clutch weighing next to nothing (suppose it must have been the adrenaline) and the mother side of my brain scolded the owner of the vehicle for not locking his doors.  I ran two or three cars over and jumped into my car.  I was relieved to see that all of my trash was intact and that, yes, my dirty floor mats were still there waiting for my return.  I made my getaway without so much as a police chase and I am now living under an assumed name in an undisclosed location.

I'm fine....really.....FINE!

Salmon have NOTHING on me...the whole swimming upstream excuse....in the words of the world's teenagers....WHATEVER!!  Unlike the salmon I don't have the benefit of a refreshing swim...shoot...I don't have the time to bathe anymore...and when I do have time...well...hygenie is nowhere near the top of my to-do list.  I have been away from this blog for way too long and was all geared up to post with avid frequency (this is where the upstream analogy comes into play).  The evil technological forces were doing everything in their powers to prevent such a thing as moi wanting to write to you.  Long and drawn out story short:  I finally found my leotard, tights, and flowing cape and confronted the dark side.  Good won out as it has proven to do time after time (after long time) and here I am!  All of this just to say that it feels so good to be able to finally tell you that within the course of one week I have acquired enough stories to make up for lost time.  School is officially out for the summer for my little chicks, I have one more week left of work, and I have taken care of my son's brood for a couple of days without so much as trailing poop back into the house....now that's skill people! 

In Too Steep

Well...there's no turning back now. I officially returned to work today after being off for the summer. I won't lie...those two months are definitely a perk and are often what keep me motivated. But I really do enjoy what I do and the people with whom I am privileged to work make for some really fantastic days. Just like the kids, us teachers get just as excited to see each other when we head back to school. Some of us have shorter hair...some of us have grown our hair out. And still others of us have changed our hair color altogether! No matter the changes we are all still one big reunited family and it feels good to see each other again. Of course there are always some new faces of which we eagerly take under our wing and grow to love...oftentimes learning more from them than we could have ever imagined.

On my first day back I was faced with a multitude of obstacles...I was starting to think I was being tested. My sleep was interrupted at 4 a.m. when my daughter came in to inform me that the dog had peed in her bed!, I couldn't fall back asleep until 5:45 with my alarm sounding at 6:00, almost every single road I had to travel on was under construction, and on my way to a meeting at my boss's house I missed her street (since it was THE ONLY ONE WITHOUT A STREET SIGN!) but that's not the only reason I was TWO HOURS LATE...my daughter's back to school orientation was at the very same time! Nice first impression don't ya think?!

Despite all of these things I was determined to maintain a calm demeanor and managed to laugh it off. Tomorrow promises more of the same but I'm hopeful I can at least remember to let the dog out before I fall asleep.

My To-Do List Just Got Longer

T-minus 1 day and counting....it's official...my Pollyanna outlook is quickly leaving my body. I even have the three..count them THREE fever blisters to prove just how painful this process is! Just what is the cause of this horrific scenario one might ask? I return to work tomorrow! Life as I have come to enjoy it (a life lived in eight week's time) will forever be altered and no matter how many motivational quotes I post on my mirror, in my calendar, on my car's dashboard, on the fridge, in my wallet, on my computer, on my forehead (you get the picture) it doesn't change the fact that the hustle and chaos that is attached to a working mom is still going to cling to me and prevent things from going smoothly...as they did in the summer months. During the summer months (a.k.a. "when I'm NOT working") it seems that there is never any traffic...there is always a parking space--UP CLOSE...there is never a line (and even if, on a rare occassion there is...I never mind waiting in it because I'm not in a frickin' rush!)...there is always time to be thoughtful and considerate and I'm always able to feel more like me because I've had the benefit of actual SLEEP (more than 4 hours) because I don't have to be startled to death at the clanging of a loud alarm hell-bent on rattling my nerves with the obvious intent on preparing me for the day ahead...and a LONG day ahead it always is what with AFTER work meetings, doctor appointments, athletic practices, games, church activities and the like.

And then there is the whole other issue of "prepping" oneself to look somewhat presentable to the public. I find it extremely ironic that during my time off I do not have to wear any makeup due to the fact that the stress has left my face and since I am more relaxed I actually look relaxed. This means that I do not have to worry about putting makeup on nor taking it off. But now that I will be interacting with hundreds of human beings all day every day I have to do the whole "morning/evening 'routine' routine." Back in the day this would have been fine when a light dusting of blush and regular mascara were the extent. Nowadays I must wear waterproof mascara (I tend to cry alot...you know...driving to work...working at work...thinking about work.......and then, of course, there are those seasonal allergies to contend with....ALL 4 SEASONS!). This means that I have tug and tug and tug at my lashes as I try to remove all traces of mascara without tugging on the delicate skin around the eye area. Nowadays I must wear more and more makeup in an effort to look more and more 'natural.' Nowadays I have to wear makeup or else I will scare all of the children. All of this just to illustrate the fact that I have to refer to a check list when putting on/taking off my face (and this list is only for the cleansers and moisturizers and anti-aging cremes and treatment gels...).

I have yet to mention the myraid other "to-dos" that go along with making sure my kids are ready for school. I have purchased school supplies for the middle schooler and am sending my high schooler on his way with a pen and a prayer. I have suffered through the trying on of clothes with my daughter and the extended cleaning sessions in my son's room. I have signed multiple forms and conversed with school counselors. I have negotiated with my boss about the fact that I will be late (as in not even going to make it late) to the first meeting of the year because I'll be at my daughter's orientation. I have driven my son to his football practices and picked him back up again. I have listened to Mix 96.1 and watched the Teen Choice Awards.

I have decided that no matter how much I have to do I already know it won't always get done. I already know that things are going to be insanely chaotic and that I will need nerves of steel. I know that I will need more sleep than ever before but that I will be unable to get it. I know that I had a good summer...and I know that I can't wait for the next one!

Why Did the Parent Sit in the Parking Lot? .... To wait for her son!

It may be "that time again" for a lot of you out there...but it's a first for me. I just had my official first experience as the mother of a high school football player. This experience consisted of dropping off my son early this evening, killing time for the next 3 1/2 hours, and then sitting in the stifling heat for another hour waiting for his first practice to end. We got home close to 9:45 and the boy had the nerve to tell me that he was starving..."for a big dinner." Whoa baby...do we have to get a few things straightened out if he wants to live to practice another day!

As far as the chicken picture goes: believe it or not, this is the sight I saw as I pulled into the high school's parking lot this evening. I considered it "a sign" ... though I'm not sure of what exactly.....

Dedicated to the Ones I Love

I had a good day although I started getting, what I like to call, "church pew sleepy," right after lunch. It is very difficult to do one's job while nodding off...but...I manage to pull it off on a somewhat regular basis. Of course, it's not hard to stay awake when you experience moments that take your breath away. I had two incredible moments that made my day: a 1st grade class came to the library asking if they could read to me instead. They were so excited because they had just completed their first book, a collaborative effort, called, The Mystery of the Missing And. I took my seat on the story rug with all of the other kids while one student sat in my chair to read the story. Before she began all of the kids insisted that I read the dedication page. The book was dedicated to ME!! I mean, it just doesn't get much better than this! Do I not have the best job in the world?! What a thrill it was for me to get to witness first hand the pride and ownership these 1st graders felt as "their" page was read and displayed. To hear them sounding out words and reading fluently is such a reward. It's moments like these, when kids are entralled with all things relating to books and words and stories that make me love what I do...it's pretty great to be able to work in such an environment.

Earlier that morning our life skills students asked me if they could perform a reader's theater for me. Imagine my joy at being able to watch and listen as these amazing students read, shared, and helped one another. I was floored by their accomplishments. I was in awe of their teacher.

Sure, there are days when I would much rather stay at home, but that is only because I love being home...not because I dislike being at work. I count myself blessed to work around kids. I feel so fortunate that I am able to watch kids grow, learn, and mature from the time they start kindergarten until the time the go on the seventh grade...and even later in life. I will never tire of enjoying a good book. I will never stop trying to turn kids on to reading. There is something magical that happens when a child learns to read and then gets lost in a book.

Today I witnessed two separate yet similar situations where kids were so incredibly happy...all because they read out loud.

Weather or Not

I left work clutching our employee phone tree. A winter weather advisory has been placed over our area and there is the ever so slight possibility that the roads may be too icy for travel...at least for a couple of hours in the morning. It is times like these when I honestly don't know who is filled with more anticipation: the students or the teachers. Sure, in the end, we'll have to make up the day...but for the moment at least the mere thought of an hour or two gained sounds delightful.

It was already 35 degrees by the time I got home and it was only getting colder. I started the first fire of the season and am so grateful to have a fireplace in our home. Since I'm still not feeling all that great I sat sideways in a chair and watched an hour long show...can't tell you the last time I did that--so what if I had not seen the previous episodes--at least I saw the season finale (for real...it was the finale--go figure!).

Since there is a good chance that our pipes will freeze I made sure to wash dishes earlier and will make certain my face is washed before I go to bed. Usually I prepare my coffee ahead of time but I'm still not able to eat anything substantial and don't feel like coffee yet (probably why I have such a pounding headache!).

I will have to wait until morning to see what my day has in store for me...until then I'm snuggling up with my electric blanket and my Advil!

BFFs!

I brought my 11 year old daughter along for an all girls' weekend with my two best friends from elementary school. We spent the night in Dana's lake cabin and it felt every bit like the quintessential pre-teen slumber party that it truly was! Being the only one with a daughter I wanted to include my daughter in the plans because she loves all things "girl." She adores my girlfriends and they return the love. I am so fortunate to be able to share her with them.

We massaged our feet, painted our toenails, played the flute, and flipped through magazines. We ate coconut meringue pie for breakfast and had Mike &Ike's candies for dinner. We laughed until we peed in our matching froggy pajamas!

We exchanged fun gifts the likes of peppermint hand sanitizers, vanilla creme lotions from Bath & Body Works, fun candles, and old copies of Judy Blume books as tokens of our lasting friendships! Per my daughter's request she and I picked up some cozy fleece pjs and stuffed animals for all the girls.

At one point in the night someone gave my daughter a Sharpie Marker with the instructions to "Mark the 1st person to fall asleep"...guess who dozed off first? Yup....'twas I.

Dana built us a roaring fire in the wood burning stove that sustained us all through the night. She and my daughter stood their ground and defended the cabin against the angry mob of hornets that once lived inside the pipe of the stove. We all played M.A.S.H. (mansion, apartment, shack, house), and we popped each other's backs. We fed the stray cats that hung out near the front door (though they looked as if they hung out at every cabin door--no ribs showing on these felines). As it turned out we were more than warm and slept, as I had earlier predicted, with the doors open. We had prepared for freezing temperatures and had the electric blankets to prove it. We discussed our favorite authors and we wend on a nature walk.

All in all it was a great getaway...it was great in the fact that I could have my daughter along with me while "out with the girls." It was great in the notion that good old fashioned corny silly fun is still great fun! It was a strong reminder that girls are girls no matter their age...we all just want to belong to a group of people who love us and accept us. We all need someone who we can confide in, tell our secrets to, share a ped egg with. I pray that my daughter will surround herself with some truly great girlfriends who will embrace her and encourage her the way my BFFs have done for me...and thank heaven...who do so for her too! Thanks, girls!!!!

To Thee I Sing...

Have you ever been in a gymnasium filled with elementary school students? Have you ever been in one where you could hear a pin drop? Where soft voices sang "When You Are A Soldier?" Where veterans got tears in their eyes? I have. I was in one just this morning.

Our annual Veteran's Day ceremony gets me every time. I cannot imagine how the veteran's attending this event must feel being able to see the benefits of their personal sacrifices. Some have not had to wait all that long having fought in the current war on terrorism while others were called to duty before I was even born. For these men and women to be able to see and hear the voices of children...children who know nothing but freedom...I hope they know that it is because of their commitment to and love for our country that our youth can be happy children.

Flags were saluted, pledges were read, anthems were sung, and Taps was played...all by students. Hands were placed over hearts and respect was paid. How humbling it was to stand in an elementary school gym-safe and free-knowing I didn't do one thing to deserve it...I was only born...in America...THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAVE SERVED, AND ARE CURRENTLY SERVING TO DEFEND OUR GREAT NATION.

All's Fair in Love and Books

Just when you think being around kids day in and day out is going to make you leap--you see them in a different light. Today kicked off day one of a week long book fair at my school. I was treated to sights and sounds of youth that made me smile from within. I witnessed big 6th grade boys sitting cross-legged on the floor flipping through the pages of a book as if no one else were in the room. I heard squeals of delight as 5-year olds recognized familiar characters on the covers of books. I helped the very young make out a wish list to take home to their parents and I helped count the coins others brought in with the hopes of bringing home a new read.

There is nothing like being a part of a child's world...a world rich in excitement and pleasure. There is something special about getting to be a part of some of the experiences kids have when their parents aren't around. Most parents, I'm happy to report, would be pleased if they could watch and listen as I get to. Multiple times throughout book fair week I am privy to siblings purchasing for each other. I get to count back change to a child who thinks he just hit the mother load. I absolutely love seeing kids get so excited to be shopping "all by themselves" in the confines of our school library. I am grateful to all of the volunteers who so graciously give of their time to visit their kid's world and help me out at the same time.

At the end of the week it is not about the money, but instead about the joy expressed in the students' voices as they exclaim phrases such as, "This is SO cool!" and "AWESOME!" "Oh I LOVE this author!" "You have such cool books here!" In such a technology-driven, fast-paced world it is good to know that kids still get excited about the turning of pages.

General Admission

I spent last Friday night in the grandstands at my former high school's homecoming football game. For years I chanted for our team, our mascot, and our school colors. But last Friday had me wearing different colors and cheering for a different mascot!" As far as fashion goes the new colors looked great...and I would gladly purchase some fan attire. But it just wasn't the same. Even though the game was held at "my" former stadium...I felt disconnected. I love watching the game so that part was fun, but as far as feeling the guttural urge to holler "DEFENSE!!"...well, I never really got there.

My kids and I sat right next to the 'student' section so that in itself was quite entertaining to say the least. I kept glancing over trying to read each face wondering which 'parts' they were playing. I tried to guess who was the (insert name here) of my high school class. I realized that they weren't acting immature...they were just acting their age. I wondered what my own kids would be like at that age. I remember living for Friday night football games. It was all about the boys and being seen and seeing others. The air was always crisp and energized. The darkness was always palpable.

Last night as the girls' mums jingled and the air horns blew I knew that I was in 'their' world...the world of high school. Last night I also knew that I was no longer one of them. Instead of accidentally on purpose scooting past a certain someone hoping to be noticed-I was doing my best not to make any eye contact whatsoever as I sandwiched myself between my son and daughter. Please don't see me -please don't see me I chanted to myself. My pants were too tight (not by choice) and my purse was too heavy (both major tell-tale signs that I was so far removed from being one of 'them' ). I chatted with the mothers of the players instead of the players themselves. And now, guess what, next Tuesday I will officially be sitting in the stands as the mother of a player myself...and I am fully ready to yell all night long...because when I do it'll be for my 8th grader!

Time Out

Wishing I had something to say but I am too exhausted to think. I don't know why I am so tired...I got plenty of rest last night. I could barely stay awake after lunch today. When school let out I sat up in the very top row of stadium seats at the middle school and watched football practice. Every now and then the sun would duck behind some clouds and a mild wind would blow. This cooled things off a bit,but just as soon as it did the very wind that cooled me off blew away the clouds blocking the sun and had me holding up my umbrella again. I did not mind though. It was such a relaxing moment sitting up there. I let go of all thoughts and plans and just watched. The field was green and the whistles were loud. The coaches were focused and the boys were intent on proving themselves. I could have sat there until the moon shone.

I am right at the point where I need to stop and breathe or else everything will start sticking to me and weighing me down. The pace of our days and evenings is starting to pick up and I can't afford to be a slave to it. I want to make the most of these days where my kids are active and enjoying what it means to be a kid. I pray for endurance, patience, understanding, and guidance. I know I'll need each of these attributes to make it through this year. As long as I can find a way to exist on four hours of sleep and a Nutigrain bar I should be okay.

Meep Meep!

Some days I feel like Wile E. Coyote trying to catch the roadrunner. Just the other morning, while pouring what I still call Lucky Charms (they are actually Marshmallow Mateys--the cheaper, bag version of the real deal...it even says on the bag, "Compare to Lucky Charms") into a small red, plastic bowl, I could not help but to compare it to when the coyote pours that perfect pyramid of Acme Birdseed into a bowl in the middle of the road with the high hopes of finally catching the roadrunner. I, too, have been known to buy the latest gimmick that is advertised to "make my life easier." I have such high hopes that this time things will be better.

Take the beginning of the school year for example. I already knew what to expect. I already knew things were going to be hectic and time would no longer be something we had on our hands. I knew this. Even still the reality of it all hit me square in the face. No matter how much I psych myself up--no matter how many prayers I pray--no matter how many deep, cleansing breaths I take...I just can't seem to catch up. Just like the coyote, who despite his best laid plans, I feel defeated every single day. There are even days when I wish that darn anvil would just knock me out cold. But, alas, I trudge on; and that "roadrunner" called life runs just ahead of me-stopping every now and then to stick its tongue out at me and then burst farther ahead leaving me in a cloud of confusion.
But, like Wile E. I always seem to bounce back day after day despite the falls and near misses of the day before.

This year has us getting home later than ever almost every night of the week. We are busier than we have ever been. And we are only two weeks into the school year for goodness sakes! But with some lucky charms and a Wile E. spirit I have high hopes that I can get a grasp on this year...or at least get it to slow down long enough for me to catch up to it!

PSA

As the new school year opens before us we have to convince our bodies to cooperate with us. During the summer we got in the habit of going to bed when we were sleepy, getting out of bed when our bodies were awake enough to do so, eating when we were hungry, and going to the restroom when nature called. Newsflash: we are not in nature anymore...we are in public education.

School Daze

One down-174 more to go...school days that is. Today was suppose to be one of those mornings that set the tone for the entire school year. Today my daughter lost the privilege of sitting up front before the keys were in the ignition. After my out-loud prayer (said through gritted teeth) I peeled out in Duke's of Hazzard fashion and we careened down the highway en route to the first day of school. To the shock and amazement of the entire faculty we were actually there early. And I even made scrambled eggs this morning...go figure.

My daughter declared it a "bad hair day" from the get-go and my son must have pulled his shorts out from beneath on elephant as they were beyond ironing. Tears were shed (after the annual photo session in front of the crepe myrtle) and voices were raised. Why must it always be like this? Is is hormones? Is it stress? Is it, dare I say it, me?

The dog was locked away and took her anger out on the situation by shredding her bed and the newspaper left for her to ... uh...read. Thank goodness there were left-overs for us to eat tonight. Tomorrow it'll have to be something along the lines of crackers.

I had sweat running down my cheeks (take your pick) during the afternoon bus/car duty. So glad that I dressed up today. I actually had to wash everything that I wore! Ugh! Tomorrow promises more of the same as do the other 174 days. Being in the library I didn't have classes coming and going today but even so I am starting to wonder how it's all going to get done.

On a happy note both of my kids came home with smiles on their faces and each had positive things to say about their teachers and their experiences. That makes it all worth it--knowing that your kids' lives are moving along just fine. Right now school is their world and it is my prayer that they are successful in all that they attempt. I hope that they are able to find out some really cool things about their world and about themselves as well.

Today was a day of firsts: kindergarten for some, college for others. Today many parents let go of their kids' hands and waved goodbye; if only for a few hours. My daughter had her first male teacher. My son acquired his first football jersey. While our mornings may be rushed and our evenings may be crammed we cannot get these days back. So I choose not to think that today set the tone for the entire school year. Instead, I choose to believe that today was today-warts and all. That is why we all laughed when we got home and kissed each other goodnight after saying our "I love yous."

What the Duck?!

So there's this dead duck in my loft...no...REALLY...there is a dead duck in my loft. He is lying on his back atop a log; arms spread open wide as if he were making a snow angel. Although I do believe that when one makes snow angels they also use their legs...they don't leave them sticking straight up in the air like...well...like a dead duck. By now you are probably wondering just how this could have happened. I know I have alluded to the fact that my housekeeping skills are not exactly in line with Martha's and there have been times when fruit flies and mice call our house their home. I do, however, try to keep it clean enough that wildlife won't seek out my house as the best place to curl up and die. But, speaking of wildlife, my brother-in-law stopped me before I went upstairs to my loft and told me that his stuffed duck mount was going to be spending a few nights up there in an effort to keep the real wildlife (the ones that are still ALIVE) from carrying it away. Okie Dokey. I mean, just how does one respond to that? And so for the past day and a half I have tried my best not to take a picture of my tiny dog sniffing around the duck.

Enough with the dead animal talk...let's talk about life; as in brand new life...new beginnings. Having just been around all of my colleagues for the past two days it is apparent that love lives have been anything but dead! There are so many pregnancies and new babies we look more like a maternity ward than an elementary school! Too bad the rest of us can't walk around in gowns and slippers as we labor through each day. You know, the start up of school is a lot like having a baby...actually it is a lot like having close to 700 babies (barf!). We troll up and down the hallways rubbing the small of our back (sore from standing all day). We find our closest colleague and spit out as many obscenities under our breath as we can to help alleviate the pain that often comes with trying to push the little darlings along. There are times when our water starts to break due to the lack of water breaks. And then, after 9 1/2 long months of carrying these little beings along we release them out into the world and we somehow forget all about the pain and suffering (well, not totally) and smile a glowing smile as we realize that our work is "done". We start our summers off with that glow of being able to get our bodies back...get our groove back...and then WHAM! We find out that just when we thought it was safe...we get "the letter" in the mail informing us that we are expecting again...and a whole new growth period begins.

Something to Howl About

Today was one of those powerful days when you are actually glad that you showed up at work. I had the privilege of listening to the dynamic Angela Wigglesworth. She instantly charmed us with her beautiful smile, her delightful sense of humor, and her wonderful ability to tell a story. Her message was one of love and giving. She reminded us to help others every chance we can and to never be afraid to ask for help ourselves. When she spoke she did so from her soul, which one instantly recognized as a good one. I was most impressed with her delivery---she sure knows how to captivate a crowd. Angela, if you're reading this, I want to say "Thank You" for telling us your story! (For anyone interested in learning more about her you can visit her blog at http://www.littlewriggle.typepad.com/ ).

She got me thinking...what are my stories (as far as education is concerned)? Which moments made me know that I was where I was suppose to be? Which moments have yet to reveal themselves? As each new school year starts to unfold there is always a mixture of emotions that run through me. I find myself eagerly awaiting all things new: school supplies, outfits, seeing friends, meeting new teachers...much like when I was a kid in school myself. I also find myself having those back to school dreams a couple of weeks before school starts. You know...the ones where nothing goes right, you get lost, you hate it. In fact, just the other night I actually dreamed that my new book rep was none other than Wolf from the American Gladiators. He came howling through the front doors of the library dressed in red from head to toe; his wild hair following him; a motorcycle helmet tucked beneath his arm. If I were to attempt to analyze this myself I would have to say this: The 2008-2009 school year will get off to a red hot start. It will be a battle of American Gladiator proportions where the teachers work with the students encouraging them to try their best. We should expect the unexpected but never tire of preparing ourselves for the reward that lies ahead. There will no doubt be some howling and growling but hopefully we will rally as a pack and get the job done.

This is Not Working for Me

Okay...so I knew this moment was coming. I set my alarm for 5:45 in the morning if for no other reason than to allow me time to "just be me" without the rushing about part of getting ready for work. I knew that I didn't have to leave for work until 7:00. Nevertheless I found myself with a wet towel around my head and nothing on but a robe at 7:00. My travel coffee mug...both of my travel coffee mugs were dirty (dirty beyond cleaning them dirty) and on a morning where I desperately needed caffeine. This called for desperate measures...I had to resort to the "travel thermos." My travel thermos is the kind that keeps liquids H-O-T but doesn't have one of those convenient sippy cup spouts. In the end I ended up never having my second or third cup of joe because of this...not a good start. I spent the first hour and a half of my "first morning awake before the roosters" writing out a full legal page list of instructions for my kids to follow while I was at work. I also decided to do the whole "take a shower/wash your hair" kind of routine since I had a legitimate excuse to do so. I ended up changing clothes three times since I "had nothing to wear" and the things that did fit looked ridiculous on me. Even after purchasing a few cute things over the summer I ended up wearing something I have worn 88 times before. I washed my hair and blew it dry only to end up wearing it in a ponytail. For some insane reason I smeared on BLUE eyeshadow (who knows what I was thinking...I was wearing navy okay?!).

On the drive to work the lens fell out of my favorite pair of sunglasses (I expected as much since they were crooked already due to the fact that my daughter sat on them the night before). My goal of "only carrying a small, lightweight purse this school year", was shot to hell the minute I crammed in my book (just in case), my pencil/pen/highlighter pouch, my tape recorder (you never know when a great thought will present itself), my tube of Zovirax (fever blisters always pop up at inservices), my bottle of Germ X, my sunglasses, several colors of lipstick/gloss (in case I needed to update my look), my work keys, i.d. badge and lanyard, my name tag, my blue tooth, cell phone, and wallet; my hair clips, my bills, and my perfume samples; my pill box, my coupons, and my OxyClean spray bottle. Of course I brought my camera bag (as I have vowed never to leave it behind again) and my school folder that houses my "important papers."

School isn't even in session yet and I am a mess. I came home to a messy house and kids who did not do their chores. I did not make dinner (what's new?) and thankfully grandparents stopped by unexpectedly and got the kids' Blizzards from Sonic. I am praying that they are "full" and will forget that dinner never really took place. I don't know what I'm going to do once they are in school.

On the way to work I listened in as a DJ described his wife's emotional roller coaster of emotions as she was taking their daughter to her first day of kindergarten. She kept going on and on about videotaping everything including her daughter's trip "up the big school steps" (what school has big steps?). I know I need to honor her emotions but all I can think about is when my own kids were finally going into kindergarten I was like: "HURRY UP! GET OUT OF THE CAR-I'M GOING TO BE LATE-SEE YOU LATER-BYE!"