Got Calcium?

Just the other day my son brought me a "shell-less" egg.  I had never ever seen anything like it before...I hadn't even heard of such a thing, and yet...there it was.  He told me that it was the third one he had collected over the course of a few weeks.  It turns out it is from some of our younger chickens who are laying for the first time.  I was too chicken to "crack" it open...so we just kept it in the fridge and gently poked it every now and then.  I couldn't help but to wonder "what if?"  What if he had not collected it...could a chick survive in there?  What exactly was in there?  It had the textue and consistency of a saline implant and yet whenever you left it alone it maintained its "egg" shape. 

This got me thinking about our own shells.  Those tough exteriors we hide behind.  When really we are just all mushy on the inside.  We still maintain who we are when no one is making jabs at us.  We are able to just "be."  But all too often we don't let others see that softer side of us.  So afraid of being labeled a "chicken" we allow our shells to get harder and harder...until one day...we crack.  And that's when it all comes out.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  We literally drain ourselves of all that was meant to be.  So, instead of worrying about what others might think of us...our time would be better spent if we made sure our shells were a little more translucent and soft...enabling not only others to see through to us, but allowing us to see through to them.  Note:  I have a shell of my own and while I certainly don't want it to harden any more than necessary...I am going to be drinking a ton of milk just to be on the safe side!

21st Sentry

Well...this is it...the final farewell...the curtain call...the end...of my summer break, aka "the time in my life when I am calm, relaxed, spontaneous, and can go without makeup".  Gone are the days of sleeping in...I must say adios to all things unhurried.  But, before I start boo hooing into my morning cup of coffee, I must say that work does have its advantages...mainly getting to see my colleagues...my friends...every day.  Much like the kids who are gearing up to go back to school (to see their friends), I am looking forward to the relationship part of it all.  The homework part...nah...not so much.  Each year at this time I stop and reflect...much like one does on January 1...about how this year I'm going to be more organized, have more patience, get enough sleep, etc., etc., etc. But the adult in me knows that deep down no matter how much I try to do all of the above...well...let's just say "life steps in."  Even so I am determined to take things a little more slowly.  I have such an appreciation for the "good old days"...a time when life was "simpler."  As our world and surroundings speed forward "into the future" I have decided that, while I plan on keeping up with all of the progress, I am going to do what I can to be ever watchful of how I spend my days.  Yes, I love my itouch and my cell phone and my computer.  Sure, I have mastered texting and dabbled in skyping.  I rely on emailing and troubleshooting and downloading.  All of those things are wonderful and they have made my life a little easier in many ways.  But this year I plan on relying heavily on enjoying and simply being.  As I stand guard and watch out for all that is coming ahead I still want to remain in touch with all that once was. 

Don't Touch My Stuff!

I went to an estate auction early this morning.  Normally I love a good deal...but every time I attend an estate sale I get overcome with emotion.  I become very saddened by the fact that the owner of all of the possessions has no idea that all of their belongings are being fondled by strangers.  This makes me rethink my own hoarding issues.  I love people, I really do...I just don't like to share.  I was especially protective of my stuff as a child.  I distinctly remember the times my mother's best friend would come over and visit us for the day.  She would bring along her daughter, who was the same age as me.  I really liked this girl...except when she marched right over to my closet and started trying on my shoes.  Since I was taught to be polite I held my tongue albeit through a clenched jaw.  I can easily recall walking over to my mother who was enjoying her sweet tea and catching up with her friend at the dining room table and whispering in her ear, "She's wearing my shoes!" My eyes were no doubt as wide as they could be trying to translate my dire need for an intervention--pronto! 
As I walked around the front yard of the old farm house it was easy for me to tell that the lady of the house was an avid cook and had a way with a sewing machine.  She enjoyed quilts and all manor of costume jewelry.  If you study the photo you'll notice a wedding dress hanging on the front porch.  All of the other items were laid out on folding tables in the yard separated by category to be auctioned off in lots.  This got me thinking about all of the things that are mine...all of the minutiae that I simply can't part with for whatever reason.  It scares me to think of the unthinkable...what if....    But then a smile starts to tug at the corner of my lip...just one corner...a kind of smirk.....just what exactly would one be able to deduce about "the lady of my house?"  I certainly am no whiz in the kitchen...although I have every Pampered Chef item ever sold.  I've never sewn an article of clothing (unless you count that plaid sleep shirt I was forced to make in homemaking)...but I have several quilts.  Hmmm....just what does our stuff say about us?  I am a tad nervous about all of my writings and journals and snippets of papers lying about....those are the real tell-alls.....I think it's time to invest in a vault!

Giving Voice to Change

This here pic is of one of our young roosters.  He is just now starting to crow...er...attempt to crow.  This means that inside and outside of my house voices are changing.  While my son's voice seems to have deepened effortlessly without any embarrassing croaks, the same cannot be said about this here rooster.  His daily crows remind me of those old-timey barnyard sound machine/toys I used to shake and tip over repeatedly to hear those muffled moos and baaahs from....remember those?  They were nothing more than a small, enclosed tube with something mysterious inside that, when shaken or tipped over, emitted a sound.  Anywho...the sounds coming from this teenrooster are down right hilarious.  Everytime I hear his crow (which sounds more like he's being strangled to death rather than trying to rise and shine) I can't help but to think about how we all have our awkward stages.  Sometimes those stages last longer than we care to acknowledge but, in the end, we grow out of them...if not through them onto the next awkward stage.  He makes me want to do what I choose to do and do so boldly--without fear of anyone else's reaction or comment.  So what if I am "a little off" in my attempts...who cares if I don't look or sound or act like I am "suppose to"...I am at a point in my life where I have a few things to say and don't want to keep my words stuck in a muffled tube.  It's time to shake things up and crow!

Time to Negotiate

A couple of days ago I treated myself to lunch...I'm thoughtful that way.  Although I truly do enjoy the company of other people (sometimes) I often prefer to be alone.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my soul craves the opportunity to collect her thoughts....to recharge....to simply "be."  While that may be true, as a working mother I am surprised that I do not have a permanent indentation in the meaty part of my shoulder from all of the incessant poking it receives.  Allow me to give you an example:  "poke-poke-poke-Mom! Mom!poke-poke-poke-Mom!! Mom!!poke-poke-poke-Miss!! Miss!! poke-poke-poke!"  There are times when I have to restrain myself from screaming "GO AWAY!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" 

And that is why, during my last week of work--a week without students and the typical after-school taxi services I offer my children...free of charge...I'm thoughtful that way...I found myself the single occupant of a table for four in one of my favorite Chinese food restaurants. 

As I sipped my soup and chewed my chicken I found that I was finally slowing down...relaxing..."being."  When my check arrived so to did my fortune: 

"Negotiations move along smoothly.  The outcome is favorable!"

My first thought was..."What am I in need of negotiating?  Huh?  Where's the part that predicts I'm going to collect a windfall?"  I have to admit I was a little let-down...I really wanted a "good" fortune...something I could believe in...hang on to...as I began my summer break.  But just this morning, after some quiet devotional time alone in my loft, I began to see my "fortune" in an entirely different light.  There is another definition of the word "negotiate" as found in Barron's Pocket Dictionary and Thesaurus:  "Get over an obstacle or difficulty." ....hmmmm.... now that's more like it!!!  I couldn't help but notice that this definition was the third and final entry.  This got me thinking that maybe our first, or even second thought, impression, or feeling, may not always be the "right" one.  Sometimes we have to negotiate around several obstacles in our paths, in our lives, in our souls to find a favorable outcome. 

My To-Do List Just Got Longer

T-minus 1 day and counting....it's official...my Pollyanna outlook is quickly leaving my body. I even have the three..count them THREE fever blisters to prove just how painful this process is! Just what is the cause of this horrific scenario one might ask? I return to work tomorrow! Life as I have come to enjoy it (a life lived in eight week's time) will forever be altered and no matter how many motivational quotes I post on my mirror, in my calendar, on my car's dashboard, on the fridge, in my wallet, on my computer, on my forehead (you get the picture) it doesn't change the fact that the hustle and chaos that is attached to a working mom is still going to cling to me and prevent things from going smoothly...as they did in the summer months. During the summer months (a.k.a. "when I'm NOT working") it seems that there is never any traffic...there is always a parking space--UP CLOSE...there is never a line (and even if, on a rare occassion there is...I never mind waiting in it because I'm not in a frickin' rush!)...there is always time to be thoughtful and considerate and I'm always able to feel more like me because I've had the benefit of actual SLEEP (more than 4 hours) because I don't have to be startled to death at the clanging of a loud alarm hell-bent on rattling my nerves with the obvious intent on preparing me for the day ahead...and a LONG day ahead it always is what with AFTER work meetings, doctor appointments, athletic practices, games, church activities and the like.

And then there is the whole other issue of "prepping" oneself to look somewhat presentable to the public. I find it extremely ironic that during my time off I do not have to wear any makeup due to the fact that the stress has left my face and since I am more relaxed I actually look relaxed. This means that I do not have to worry about putting makeup on nor taking it off. But now that I will be interacting with hundreds of human beings all day every day I have to do the whole "morning/evening 'routine' routine." Back in the day this would have been fine when a light dusting of blush and regular mascara were the extent. Nowadays I must wear waterproof mascara (I tend to cry alot...you know...driving to work...working at work...thinking about work.......and then, of course, there are those seasonal allergies to contend with....ALL 4 SEASONS!). This means that I have tug and tug and tug at my lashes as I try to remove all traces of mascara without tugging on the delicate skin around the eye area. Nowadays I must wear more and more makeup in an effort to look more and more 'natural.' Nowadays I have to wear makeup or else I will scare all of the children. All of this just to illustrate the fact that I have to refer to a check list when putting on/taking off my face (and this list is only for the cleansers and moisturizers and anti-aging cremes and treatment gels...).

I have yet to mention the myraid other "to-dos" that go along with making sure my kids are ready for school. I have purchased school supplies for the middle schooler and am sending my high schooler on his way with a pen and a prayer. I have suffered through the trying on of clothes with my daughter and the extended cleaning sessions in my son's room. I have signed multiple forms and conversed with school counselors. I have negotiated with my boss about the fact that I will be late (as in not even going to make it late) to the first meeting of the year because I'll be at my daughter's orientation. I have driven my son to his football practices and picked him back up again. I have listened to Mix 96.1 and watched the Teen Choice Awards.

I have decided that no matter how much I have to do I already know it won't always get done. I already know that things are going to be insanely chaotic and that I will need nerves of steel. I know that I will need more sleep than ever before but that I will be unable to get it. I know that I had a good summer...and I know that I can't wait for the next one!

A Mouthful of Memories

Yesterday, while killing time before picking up the kids from their summer celebration vacation bible school, I stumbled upon this wide-mouthed frog...and I just HAD TO HAVE IT! Here's why: one of the things I remember most about my grandmother's house was the ceramic, green, frog sponge holder that sat to the right of her kitchen sink. For some reason this kitchy little gadget appealed to me (she also had an orange one in her bathroom). While hers did not have a hinged "lid" it is still the same, basic concept...AND IT WAS ONLY $4!! (Thank goodness there was only one left or else I'd have a rainbow of frogs to deal with!).

Let Me Out!!!

Sometimes our vision gets a little distorted and we have to stop right where we are and look at things differently. Just the other day the winds picked up and began to churn all of the dust that has been blanketing our area of the hill country for so long now. I happened to be in my car at the time and could hear the pelting of the dust particles as they peppered my door. I was instantly blinded by a chalky haze and thought immediately of the days of the dust bowl. While the winds cooled things down a bit the rain never came. Without an outlet the clouds were forced to travel on until the conditions were just right for a downpour. While nearby yards received some wet and welcome relief we were left to wait and wonder when? In much the same way my creativity has been brewing for a while now. I suppose I hadn't found an outlet yet because I had always been waiting for the 'perfect conditions' to present themselves. What I have coming to realize is that when dealing with one's creativeness the only conditions are the ones we place upon ourselves. And that is why I have been posting to this site...for it is my outlet.

Land that I Love

On this, the 4th of July, I want to say that I love the fact that I am able to walk up and down the streets of a large and busy city and see beauty and history as I do. I have the freedom to visit places and teach my children about their world. I realize that I am fortunate to be able to do so as many others do not have such liberties. I am grateful that I live in a country whose men and women so honorably fight and sacrifice their lives for. Because of them my family was able to spend a day walking freely along sidewalks and streets marveling at all of the sights and sounds that crossed our path.

In Between

I am still computer-less. This means that I am frantically typing away on a borrowed computer at the public library. So far this summer has me killing scorpions on a daily basis and, maybe it's the drought, but I am starting to feel the urge to clean. It better rain soon! There is so much I want to say but being disconnected, literally, from my home computer has me all out of whack. The words just aren't flowing. Everything seems so disjointed and erratic. Come to think of it...that is how life can be sometimes. It seems that people and nature are dehydrated. We are starting to wither and droop. We are all in need of some sustenance that can't be bought. We are digging into reserves that are drying up. Even still we press on. Despite the scorching heat of the 100+ degree temperatures we keep growing because we know that we must. We are grateful for breezes and shade. We enjoy visiting with the strangers we meet inside air conditioned shops. We double up on outdoor duties and activities trying to cram them all in utilizing the "coolness" of the dawn and dusk hours that bookend our days. Deep down we all know that the rains will come. We all know that we will eventually curse the flooding that is sure to follow. But it is the time in between the drought and the flood that we must live our lives...finding our own sense of balance between want and plenty.

Stepping Up

When we are little everything is out of reach. But, somehow, we manage to find a way to get what we are after. Sometimes we just want a peek; to see what the grown ups see. When we are on the other side of those tippy toes we realize that the good stuff really is getting to lick the icing off of the cake topper. Sure, we've been told "No" even as adults, but we still sometimes just want a little peek; not so much to see it all, but to be included in the seeing aspect of it. It boils down to wanting to be a part of all that is going on around us. Sometimes the viewing is simple: we just need to open our eyes and enjoy. Other times the sight before us can be blinding and not really what we wanted to see at all. Mostly though, I have found that if I want to catch a glimpse of something that is important to me I have to step up and even step over all of the things that stand in my way.

Just the other night, while having a conversation with God, I had what I can honestly call a vision (I'd call it a dream but I wasn't asleep). I had asked God to show me how to deal with a certain situation in my life. The image that played out in my mind went something like this: I was walking through a black-walled canyon. The walls were craggy and steep and the pathway was narrow and crumbly. With each step that I took large chunks of black rock separated from and slid down the canyon walls. There were times the rock pile before me was taller than I was, but I still walked forward. I was never crushed by the boulders...I simply climbed over them (and every time I got to the top of a pile I noticed that the rock was flat--perfect for standing on and observing from). I took away the message that I should not let anything stand in my way of going where I want to go. There will be times when the going won't be so smooth-but hey, that's life. When I was finished praying I felt stronger...taller...as if I were on my tippy toes...getting a little peek at the Good Life.

Love

I've been thinking a lot about love. As a young girl I was very in love with the idea of being in love. When I was first in love I was very aware of what I was experiencing...I was always hovering over myself so as to be able to take it all in...store it up...and save it just in case I ever forgot what it felt like. When I had my first child those "in love" feelings came flooding back to me and, like before, I was aware of what I was feeling because I did not ever want to forget it.

To love somebody...unconditionally...it just feels so right. I appreciate all who love me-in their own way-and I love them for it. Some have shown love by scratching my back for what felt like hours, while others have shown love by hugging me tight. Some have loved by listening while I blab, while others have shown love by crying alongside me. I have family and I have friends...and I am so grateful for all of them.

TypeWriter

I couldn't resist posting this picture. It is of my grandmother's Corona Standard typewriter; one of my most prized possessions. I treasure the poems that I have of hers...poems typed from this very typewriter. Looking at the keys I can't help but to think of the fancy texting phones that many of us carry today; so different from the permanence of the age old typewriter. There was something so grand and yet mysterious about that heavy piece of black metal. It was so stationary and yet it connected so many people. There was nothing secret or private about typing on it-unless you were completely alone. The clunking of the keys and the ding of the return let anyone within earshot know that something was being produced. Today, people can quietly and secretly text without even looking at their phone--strangers unaware.

I have always gotten a thrill out of receiving a message; a letter; a phone call...anything that meant I was thought of. Today, I am able to send and receive text messages and enjoy the ease of it all. Even though my cell phone does not have a QUERTY keypad I am still able to get by. I love, love, love my home computer and my portable NEO...if for no other reason than the sheer joy I get out of typing on them. I don't know what it is about words that gets me going but I do know that they are meant to be a part of my life. I hope to be stringing them together for as long as I am able...perhaps one of these days my words will speak volumes.

Something's a Little Fishy

Don't you just hate it when you know what you want...when what you want is right there in front of your eyes...but you just can't quite reach it/have it/get it? Isn't it frustrating when the only thing separating you from reaching your goal is...you? So often what we seek is not only right in front of our eyes but within reach--if only we adjust our approach; our point of view.

There have been several times when the answer was a rather simple one but I had gone about finding it the hard way; kind of like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Although I am not fortunate enough to own a pair of ruby slippers, I do have access to something even more powerful-prayer. As my thoughts turn toward the new year ahead of me I can't help but to think of things such as my 20th high school reunion, my family, my parents, my dilapidated life. Will I be able to remain positive and focused? Will I be able to muster enough patience to make it through a single day? Will I find myself at the end of '09 thinking and doing the exact same things I've been thinking and doing my whole life? Will I be a good parent? Will my kids make smart decisions and wise choices? Obviously I can't spend the next 364 days worrying about all of these things...this is where prayer comes in to play. I don't want to come across as being flippant, but I have found a way to let go of all of that which makes me feel queasy...all that hinders me and weighs me down...I pray. God is so amazing that He would do this for me...he takes it all so I don't have to succumb to fear or worry. The hard part is for me to remember to talk to Him about what's on my mind on a daily basis. But, whenever I do, He lifts the burdens away and I am able to sleep at night.

Like my cat, Snickers, I am growing tired of chasing after the things that I want in life only to find out I had seen them in a refracted light...everything was not quite as it seemed. Perhaps the things that I have been longing for most have been right in front of me the whole time...maybe it is time to adjust my approach; my point of view...and pray.

Mule-Tide Greetings

Are you feeling a little stubborn lately? Have you just wanted to buck the system? Does it seem to you that this entire rush-rush-buy-buy world we live in has created gift mongers of us all? When the big day finally arrives will you find yourself merely exchanging gift cards between relatives? Would it be so wrong or bad of us if we merely made construction paper cards with heartfelt expressions written on them? I ran into too many people buying out of pressure and guilt only to greet me with a curt, "I'll be so glad when Christmas is over!" Between that and the "Happy Holidays" the sales people have obviously been instructed to dole out even when I insisted they have a Merry CHRISTMAS, even I am feeling like I am in a race to simply survive until December 26th.

STOP! The holidays should be about family and memories. Yes, if I had not waited until 4 days until Christmas maybe I wouldn't be feeling the crunch like I am. I know all of that...but the thing is sometimes kids CHANGE THEIR MIND as it gets closer and closer to Christmas. Sometimes it is hard to shop ALONE. Sometimes the routine of work/motherhood sucks the very lifeblood from you allowing you only weekend trips to the store...if you do not have any other commitments...or your kids don't...or you're not EXHAUSTED.

Every year it's the same...I swear like a hungover college student that I will NEVER DO THAT AGAIN..."that" being "wait until the week before Christmas to do my shopping." Every year I scramble...but, somehow, it all gets done. As my kids get older and older it has gotten easier and easier. I thought it was hard being Santa...it's even harder being Mom.

I See The Moon-The Moon Sees Me

I snapped this picture of the moon at dawn just before getting in my car to go to work last week. I wish you could have seen the way its glow blanketed everything beneath it. In that brief moment before the sun took over I stopped rushing and just kept taking pictures as I walked from my house to the barn. The picture does not do it justice but I wanted to post it nevertheless.

I have always been in love with the moon. Everytime that I see that beautiful orb I am touched. How I wish I could have stood staring toward the sky until the moon slipped out of view, but, alas, I had to put the pedal to the metal. Now that I am able to slow the pace down a little I hope to grab a few more shots that would have otherwise been missed.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am a woman and thus closely connected with the moon and her cycles. I have a high tide and a low tide of emotions that course through me. I have been a sliver and I have been full. I have been blue. I am getting ready to be new again.

To Be or Not To Be...

As luck would have it (my luck at least) there was never really any precipitation last night therefore no need to cancel school. Even so I turned on the TV early this morning before I did anything else- just in case. There wasn’t even so much as a ticker dragging itself across the bottom of the screen. I wore a sweat suit to work anyway.

Just the other night it snowed and caught everyone off guard. The poor weather people didn’t even have a chance to preempt all of the favorite television shows. The news stations did not have the chance to come up with a dire warning slogan such as “THE GREAT POLAR BLAST OF ’08!” And so, instead, I learned that many people simply enjoyed the moment…the surprise…the gift.

Not willing to let that stop them a mere 6 nights later the weather stations were quick to issue a “Winter Weather Advisory” for our area. This got everyone, including me, to go ahead and grab that extra gallon of milk after work and build a roaring fire. This also got my hopes up with the mere thought of, if nothing else, a two hour delay come morning. Turns out the only delay was the icy conditions.

All of our high tech devises and ability to forecast are really nice to have, and, granted, have saved many lives, but there is something to be said about the joy of a few pleasant surprises in life.

'Tis the Seasons

Some of the leaves seemed a little unsure of when to start changing. The temperatures were not what they usually were and the rains never ever came. But, despite uncertainty, and in spite of barriers the leaves did what they were designed to do. Their beautiful rust, red, yellow, and orange hues gave me my own personal mural from God; one that I took great pleasure in viewing every morning when I left for work and every evening when I returned. The top left picture is the view from my back yard. I am so fortunate to get to witness the changing of the seasons by just looking around me. I find miracles of nature to be extremely healing. It is almost as if I am constantly being reminded that I am not alone...that God is all around...if only we'll just open our eyes to see.

Sometimes I resist change--especially when things don't go the way they are "supposed to" or the way that I think they should. But, in the end, I do what I am designed to do. Sometimes I am beautiful and healthy...other times I am brittle and dry left clinging to anything that will keep me up...and then I fall. But as I do I am changed. As I rest from my fall---balled up in hibernation---I start to realize why and how I got where I am. And, when my winter is over, I continue to grow and learn and become all over again.

Moi

I'm finally at a point in my life where I don't care if I haven't been a good girl come December. Santa can kiss my ball of mistletoe because this chick has had her fill of brownie points. I am tired of being good. I am fed up with doing right. I am sick of following rules. Am I afraid that I'm not going to get what I wished for? Har! Far from it! I am no longer closing my eyes and blowing out candles with the high hopes of receiving. Instead I am going to go full throttle forward in my pursuit of granting my own wishes. No longer am I going to rely on anyone or anything to make my dreams come true. I am the only one who knows what I truly want and what I truly need to make me a happy girl. At the risk of sounding selfish I am declaring out loud my new mantra: "It's All About Me!"

I have a few short weeks left in 2008 and I intend to make them count. I want to get the momentum rolling so that when January 1st rolls around I already have enough speed to propel me into the new year without the safety of brakes. I already know that my '08 resolutions did not come to fruition, but that is not going to stop me from tacking them on to my '09 goals.

I still value my family, and I still enjoy my job, but I am ready to focus on the person who needs me most...and that is ME!

Seasonal Advice

There is beauty all around us-if we will just stop long enough to find it. This picture was taken by me on a day that I called in sick to work. I had had it with the fast-paced-no-time-to-enjoy life-rush-rush-rush routine I was stuck in. I decided that I needed to take a day off if for no other reason than because I needed to in order to preserve my own sanity. As life would have it this day was spent cleaning up a couple of month's worth of chaos instead of taking in a chick flick and then napping...but que sera sera.

I hated the fact that the hours flew by but I relished the fact that I was the master of my time that day. In the middle of mopping the floor I just stopped and walked outside. I grabbed my camera and took a stroll around our property snapping pictures at will. While I was on my back porch I was able to marvel at the seedums we have planted in baskets attached to our porch rails. I truly appreciated being able to stop and stare at each leaf, stem, and precious bud. When I start to think of all of the things that I am missing out on by being confined to the four walls of my job I get extremely frustrated. But knowing that I have to be there I make myself see the beauty in all that surrounds me there as well. I do love the kids and wish that I had more time to just listen to them and what they have to say. So many parents would be amazed at the independence their children possess when they are not around.

I am glad that I had the day to stop and observe the flowers for all too soon they will close up and wither away. But I have learned that we all go through 'seasons' in our lives where we aren't as shiny and open as we would like to be. We sometimes feel like closing up and withering away. But, after a time of quiet and self reflection, we bloom again. Our true beauty never really goes away despite the harsh conditions thrust upon us. As long as our roots run deep and are clinging to the right kind of sustenance we will open ourselves up again when the time is right.