Squawk Box

Me: (in sweet voice) “Don’t forget to pick up all of your things around the house and take them to your room.”

Them: “---“

Me: (in whiney voice) “You need to get all of your stuff out of here.”

Them: “---“

Me: (in sharp tone) “I’ve already asked you several times to clean up…I want this mess picked up!”

Them: “we will.”(as they exit premises)

Me: (noting the entire contents of my bedroom drawers stacked in towering and teetering piles up the staircase) "AAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!" (then I exit the premises)

For me summer is all about the opportunity to slow things down...to work on all of the projects I fantasize about completing "when I have time."  Project #1 is usually always the purging of junk in an effort to streamline and simplify life when I'm back at work.  The hard part about all of this is the fact that I don't necessarily want to spend my time off cleaning.  But then again I don't want to spend my time on cleaning either.  Truth be told: I don't want to clean-period!  Nevertheless I spent a couple of days taking all of the things I have squirreled away in my bedroom and have decided to squirrel them away in the loft (I never truly get rid of anything...I just move it from one room to another).  The method here is to stuff as much schtuff as you can in the one room most people are never likely to visit.  So, after this afternoon I should at least have a cleaner bedroom.  The loft will be cleaned next summer when I bring everything back down and cram it into my bedroom.

Too Small and Too Big at the Same Time

I knew my daughter had grown out of the majority of her clothes....but I had forgotten about the growing out of herself part of it all.  Yesterday, while purging her closet I discovered that she did, indeed, have carpeting in there after all!  Like most of us girls, my daughter gravitated toward the same few articles of clothing that were her favorites and basically ignored everything else taking up space and convincing her that she had "tons" of things to wear.  As it turns out she had good reason to neglect certain articles of clothing....especially the ones that were either four sizes too small or else resembled something a nine or ten year old would be more interested in.  Existing in the ambivalent and fuzzy area of "too big for the 'kid' section and too small for the 'adult' section, my teen daughter now has "nothing to wear."  Boy don't we all know that feeling...even with a closet full of clothes.  Like any responisble and frugal mother, I refuse to buy her anything for school until the day before it starts because she is more than likely to a)grow out of it the following week, and b)drastically change her opinion of what's "cool" based upon all of the look-alikes who flit about campus.  This "wait until August" approach does not sit well with my daughter but I am holding my ground.  As I held up each piece of clothing for her to say "yay" or "nay" to I had to admit that I, too, could instantly see most of it was a "nay."  Especially when I came to the oh so tiny denim mini skirt and little white shoes.....wait a minute!! She never wore that?!  This little "outfit" belonged to one of her stuffed animals....a beloved rabbit who was way better dressed than she ever was!  It was at this point when I realized that not only was my daughter outgrowing all of the clothes I just bought for her less than six months ago, but that she was also outgrowing all of the things that little girls play with as well.  No, I don't wish she would stay little forever...and, no, I don't reserve any tears for the years of following a toddler around....but I do realize that time is beginning to whiz by a little faster than it ever did before....which is weird in the sense that when life is crazy insane it seems like you are stuck in a time warp with no end in sight (such as when babies keep you up all night....such as when they only want to be held while you're attempting to eat dinner....such as when you have to pack, prepare, buckle up, unbuckle, carry inside--just to pump gas--and then repeat the whole process backward just to drive back home).  And yet, when your kids are finally old enough to bathe themselves, afford you the luxury of eating an entire bowl of cereal in one sitting, and actually teach you things....well time just whips right past you before you even have a chance to glance down at your watch.  On the bright side....I don't have to buy clothes for inanimate objects anymore.....unless you consider a teenager an inanimate object!

Getting Organized

Well....here I am...staring my end-of-summer-deadline in the face...the countdown is on and I have been pulling several all-nighters-in-a-row attempting to get done "all the things I said I'd do when I was 'off for the summer' before Tuesday, August 11th. I simply chose (as I always do) to cram it all into the final four days of my summer instead of spreading it out over the past eight weeks. That's just how I roll. My summer goal was to SIMPLIFY and to ORGANIZE (which has been my goal for the past twenty-plus years...but I digress....). The difference is...this time I am actually doing it. Take my pantry for example: the "before" picture (which is not shown...for obvious reasons) always lead us to believe that-even though we could never find anything to eat, we just knew there had to be something edible in there. NOW....now that all is organized we KNOW that we don't have anything to eat. But, like most things in this world...it's not about what you have...it's about how you look...and my pantry looks GOOD!!!

It's Like Beating a Dead Rug

It must be the heat...it has to be...for I actually swept, vacuumed, and mopped part of my house......I know!!! But, after "walking" for half an hour hunched over trying to coerce dirt particles to release their grip within all of the score lines in our concrete I decided I could call it a day...I mean...I was tuckered and my back hurt. I think housework is bad for my health!

All throughout the school year I kept telling myself that I would clean my house once I was off for the summer. And then summer hit. Why on Earth would I want to clean house, now?! When I'm on vacation?! I just didn't make a lick of sense. And, considering the fact that I prefer to simply throw things away rather than clean, fix, or wash them I was stuck with the dilemma of just how does one go about throwing away their house?! It would be sooo much easier to simply relocate into a sparse, clean, condo somewhere...with all white furniture...and windows you could actually see out of...and maid service...and....

Then the realization hit that if I wanted some semblance of clean I would have to do it and I would have to do it now. So, rather than vacuuming the rugs I drug them outside and flopped them over the fence. I beat the filth out of them with a broom and then lugged them back inside--knowing full well that they would be riddled with dirt within the hour. That's the thing about cleaning...there is no long-lasting result. Take mopping for example: now my floors are just clean enough that you can see the tread from my flip flops as I followed along behind the mop (why are there riding lawn mowers and not riding mops? It's not like footprints show up in the grass. Hmmmmm....)

So, even though it will be hard to tell that I actually cleaned the house by the time evening comes I can at least say that I did it. Another exciting rendition of "How I Spent My Summer Vacation."