Do You Have Your Receipt?

I save EVERYTHING. And I save it ALL in my purse. You would be amazed at the things I can pull out of my purse. It is somewhat reminiscent of Mary Poppins’ magical carpet bag...you know...the one she pulls a FLOOR LAMP OUT OF?! However, even though I may keep everything I never actually seem to have thething I need when I need it. Take this afternoon’s out of the way excursion to the big city. I had two and a half hours to kill before I had to drop one of my kids off for bible study and I wanted to return an impulse buy I snagged on the fly last week (plus there was a new book I wanted to grab at Barnes & Noble). So I decided to make the trek in the name of multitasking. Seeing as the item I needed to return was located at the store farthest away I went there first. As usual I was "on the clock" -- it was getting close to the end of the day rush hour and I did not want to get stuck in traffic---with, what looked to be a storm brewing. As soon as I parked the car I sent the kids on inside while I rummaged....and dug...and cussed...and searched. NOTHING. This can't be...I purged the trunk and even dared to stick my hand underneath the driver's seat. STILL NOTHING. Determined I went on inside and did my best "I just drove ALL the way in from OUT OF TOWN and I can't seem to find my receipt...but I know it is in here somewhere" routine. This usually does the trick at Wally World but it didn't really work with "The Manager" in the big city. Stubbornly I plopped myself down on the floor and proceeded to take EVERYTHING out of my HUGE purse. There were over five receipts from WALMART, one from Walgreen's, and three from a department store....just NOT from THIS STORE! I also had a baggie of almonds, a bottled water, two bottles of allergy medications, seven different lip glosses (though I never wore any today), ANOTHER PURSE, a book, and countless other odds and ends that I obvious felt compelled to bring in the event that I NEVER RETURNED HOME AGAIN.
Ultimately it came down to the fact that I would not be able to get my money back; I could only receive an in-store credit. NOT! I straightened my posture and looked The Manager in the eye and told her that I Would Be Back Because I Do HAVE THE RECEIPT! Hmmmpppfffffft.