A Bird in the Bag Is Worth More Than a Warm One In The Freezer

I have two best friends. One of them meets me for after hour book signings with famous people...the other invites me up to her lake cabin where we fling dead birds into plastic bags and chip away at a frosty freezer.

Allow me to explain:

In preparation for another girls' weekend at the lake cabin, Dana and I decided that it would be wise if we visited the cabin just to check things out before we arrive next weekend. Good thing we did because our first mission was to inspect the wood burning stove. Inside we found some leftover newspaper ashes, the metal tools we would need, and a dead cardinal. Our speculations ran wild with images of bird suicide and bird pranks gone bad. After putting many layers of plastic bags between her skin and the lifeless bird, Dana mournfully dumped the bird into a used Dick's Sporting Goods plastic bag. Since there is no such thing as trash pick up out at the lake Dana had no choice but to haul her bagged bird back into S.A. with her (While driving away I had Pet Semetary visuals flooding my thoughts).

It was significantly cooler inside the cabin than it was outside...so much so that I was secretly starting to have doubts about pulling an all-nighter here. I lived in an uninsulated house without heat (or air conditioning) for over 20 years and was painfully reminded of just how miserable it was. The very thought of having to sleep in three layers of clothes, a ski parka, ear muffs, a scarf, and woolen socks-underneath an electric blanket underneath a down comforter...not really tops on my list any longer. But there was a side of me that wanted to prove (to whom I have absolutely no idea!!!???) that us three women could survive a weekend in the cold. (Of course I had delusions of us sitting around the wood stove, wearing cute ,wintery socks and flannel pajamas, all sipping hot chocolate, looking fabulous, and laughing the night away).

Unfortunately I have come to accept the truth that scenarios like the one I painted above never happen to me. My real scenarios tend to have dead birds and frostbite in them (though not necessarily in that order). And so, speaking of frostbite, Dana spent the good part of an hour chipping away at the frosty freezer. While it looked pretty inside...very much like the gateway to Narnia, it did nothing to warm up the room. It did, however, make an excellent cooler!

After convincing ourselves that we'll only shower before we come to the cabin and after we leave the cabin we started to believe that we could handle anything. We made lists of items we'll need to bring. Items such as:

*a fire extinguisher

*electric blankets

*coffee

*ear muffs

*food

That should just about cover it! Stay tuned to learn just how next weekend turns out.