Just In Case

Tonight I will be attending my faculty Christmas party. An entire restaurant has been reserved for us. A live jazz band will be playing and gifts will be exchanged. I am actually looking forward to it. Or maybe I am simply looking forward to having the opportunity to dress up and go out.

This, of course, leads to the infamous question of “What to wear?” I know many people will spend the day shopping for just the right outfit to wear. I, on the other hand, will do what I have always done—make do. Truth be told I actually bought a fun little black dress with white satin straps and a rhinestone centerpiece. I bought it on a blowout sale for a price that screamed, “You’d be stupid if didn’t snatch this baby up!” Well, I’m no dummy and I have had that bargain of a dress hanging in its plastic bag home for 4 months now. I bought it not only because it was a steal, but I thought it wise to be prepared in the event that I actually had to be somewhere worthy of cocktail dress attire…a kind of Girl Scout mentality if you will.
Tonight’s party actually called for just such a dress so off I went to my closet-a mere 3 hours before the party-to try it on for the first time since I bought it. Now, I must alert you to the fact that a lot has transpired in the past four months. Things such as weight gain and neglect. The dress fit in a maternity sort of way…not exactly the look I was going for. It looks best when worn with sparkly and strappy heels, but that would mean “showing off” my verygross veins…and when worn with boots it morphs into something a little more “appropriate” for an activity like street walking.

Since the clock was ticking I reached for my backup outfit…another little number I grabbed off the rack in a mad dash to the checkout line because I had to rush to pick up one child or another. This outfit poses quite the risk as it is white. White is great for a-people who do not have kids, and b-people who do not work in an elementary school, and for c-people who do not live at the end of a dirt road. I bought it anyway because, you guessed it, it was on sale. The pants only drag the ground by 3 inches but I did not let that prevent me from claiming them as my own.

Now that it was down to crunch time I ripped open the packet of 'Stitch Witchery' that I had purchased several years ago (just in case & after another rash purchase of extra long but oh so cheap pants). After a phone call to Mom and a frantic search for something that would do as a "pressing cloth," I set to work. I dampened my daughter's old Hello Kitty pillowcase, cut strips of stitch witchery cloth, and pressed away. Believe me, if I could've found my hot glue gun I'd have used that as well. My prayer is that the makeshift hem lasts through the night...but, the scout in me will, nonetheless, pack some socks, tennis shoes, and a stapler in the trunk...just in case!