In No Mood

What is it with moods? One minute I'm up-the next I'm down. I can't really pinpoint any one thing in particular that sets me off. Right now I simply feel nothing. Earlier in the day I needed to walk out to my car to get something I thought I had left in the trunk and I felt like I was absolutely capable of walking all the way around around the globe. I even had on heels and yet the thought of walking away felt so completely possible.

I can remember wanting nothing more than to get in the car and drive until I ran out of gas. I didn't care which direction I were to head nor did I care where I were to arrive. All I wanted to do was leave. Today I simply wanted to walk. Walking out to the parking lot felt a little like shuffling through your home in the middle of the night: your senses are heightened and everything just "feels" different...almost eerie. The same can be said about stepping outside of the school during a time of day when there aren't any activities going on outside. The parking lot is quiet and still and the building stands so quietly it is hard to imagine there are over 600 students inside. The air was comfortably cool and I felt like a prisoner breaking free.

It turns out I wasn't ever really "free" but rather transferred from one prison to another. And here I sit with my fingers tapping away while my chin rests on my chest--kind of like the involuntary muscular movements of a snake long after it is dead. There is so much that I want to say but I am falling asleep. (I think I may have fallen asleep two paragraphs ago if you must know the truth).

Anyway, I have experienced the full gamut of moods today and seem to have been stuck on blah.