Bomp and Circumstance

The Olympic Games have finally come to a close; the torch has been extinguished. We will have to wait four long years before we can see Michael Phelps and his Speedo again (...if he grows any taller and still wears the same lucky Speedo that helped him win 8 gold medals...not real sure there's much room for error if you know what I mean...he was sporting that suit mighty low on the hips...but I digress...) Where was I? Oh, right...four more years. Holy Moley ...my kids will be 15 and 17 years old the next time we watch the summer olympics...WOW! I should get some medals if I make it through the next four years without too many torch extinguishing moments.

Speaking of torches going out...our television is on the fritz. It has become possessed. If any of you ever saw Stephen King's 'Maximum Overdrive' (where machines come alive and go on killing sprees), or Steven Spielberg's 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind' (where a huge spaceship "speaks" to Earthlings via harmonic notes) then you might have an inkling into what I am dealing with over here. We have lost our satellite signal for long stretches of time; the image on our screen becomes digitized and frozen EVERY single time our air conditioning comes on or shuts off (keep in mind it has been a HOT summer); and for the past couple of weeks our television will simply turn itself off. It does not care if your favorite show is on, if the punchline is just about to be delivered, or if Brad Pitt is about to get in the shower. Click.

To add fuel to the flame our possessed telenovision has started to switch channels at random. Back-forth-back-forth-back-forth. Click. Just today it started switching to a looped infomercial feed that is set up to sell you on the satellite company...well, that and a menu of choices to interact with like horoscopes and forecasts. Click. And then it started bomping. That's right, bomping. There is no other word for it folks, sorry. Our telenovision makes a repetitve bomping sound over and over and over and over. It sounds very much like what it would sound like if you had a poltergeist inside of your television and it was thumping on the speakers. BompBompBompBompBompBompBompBompBompBomp. Click.

Guess what was on t.v. tonight? THE CLOSING CEREMONIES!!! Guess what was suppose to be so impressive about it....the use of DRUMS!!! Guess what we couldn't hear because of our own alien bongo player???!!! And when we weren't watching the show (albeit on mute by this time) we were learning whether or not the full moon on the 15th of September was going to lift our relationship. Click. BompBompBompBompBomp. "Oh, look! They are getting ready to raise the British flag"-BompBompBomp-Switch-'30% chance of rain'...-Switch- "This is Bob Costas saying, Good Night."

Yup, we missed the torch part...no closure over here. No biggie. I'm sure it was nothing spectacular; probably only 2008 Chinese children shooting arrows of water-filled balloons up up and away...all choreographed to the sound of drums beating like a thunderstorm...like a 30% chance of rainfall would sound...on the 15th of September. Now that's some serious bomp and circumstance! Click.