a la cart

Yesterday, while digging through the racks beneath a sign that reads: "Bienvenido a un mundo de ahorros" (translated as "Welcome to a world of savings") my jaw still drops and my face still contorts when I flip the tag and read that "they" want $19.99 for a shirt. Granted, in the "real world" (translated as "money is not an issue and off brands are not even an option...GAWD, can you even eeemadgine it?!") the original price tag would have read $79.99. Am I cheap? I don't think so. I know a good thing when I see it...I just want to have a lot of good things. Therefore I focus on quantity AND quality. And so, in order to do this, I must shop in un mundo de ahorros. This means shopping with the masses. This means pushing a blue plastic shopping cart (strip away the blue pastic and it is, in fact, a GROCERY cart) that has a six foot pole attached to its front..hell all it needs is a small, fluorescent orange triangular flag at it's top, a few streamers coming out of the cart's wheels and...BAM!...let's race!) This makes it extremely difficult to discover a hidden gem before any of the other three hundred and ninety five shoppers crammed in the store with you do. It also makes it hard to make a mad dash out of the store in an effort to pull a once over on the cop who guards the door. Of course, even if you did rob el mundo you couldn't wear your loot...unless you like those damn plastic theft deterrants that somehow never sound off when all of the alleged shoplifting occurs, but always forces the sensors to scream when I walk out of the doors even though I actually paid for my two-season's ago clothes. That, or else the clerk conveniently forgot to use her secret magical sensor slider thingy while swiping my clothes. It's funny, really, how I now shop for my clothes with a grocery cart but buy my groceries using soft, canvas totes.
Let's face it...I'm a Ross Dress For Less Girl in a La Cantera World.