It is 5:04 a.m. and I have been up since 3:00. Just when I felt somewhat caught up on my sleep (if that is even possible) my eyes popped open and out of bed I flew. If this is what it takes to allow me some peace and quiet--some time to myself--then so be it. As a mother it often feels like I am just that: "Mother." Not "Me." Truth be told I don't even know who "Me" really is. I know who she was but she has since morphed. I don't mind being "Mom," in fact, it's who I always wanted to be when I grew up. Only once I became her there was still a lot more growing up to do.
I am at a point where my kids are no longer infants and completely dependent upon me but at the same time they are still young and need stability and direction. While I prefer their older versions to their younger ones I am starting to feel a little exhausted and frustrated. I hate complaining because it is nothing like those early years where I did not sleep-EVER! Times are actually good right now! I hate to sound selfish---I think, I hope, this is something most mothers go through--the struggle to find "self" in between lessons and lectures; dinners and dishes.
I am at a point where my kids are no longer infants and completely dependent upon me but at the same time they are still young and need stability and direction. While I prefer their older versions to their younger ones I am starting to feel a little exhausted and frustrated. I hate complaining because it is nothing like those early years where I did not sleep-EVER! Times are actually good right now! I hate to sound selfish---I think, I hope, this is something most mothers go through--the struggle to find "self" in between lessons and lectures; dinners and dishes.
No comments:
Post a Comment