Size Matters

At the rate I am going I should open up my closet to the public and start selling my clothes. I have enough clothes in enough sizes to make a profit. Petite? No problem...why don't you try on some of my size 2 jeans and my Xsmall shirts? Small, but tall? Not a problem! Why don't you try on some of my size 4 pants? How about the small, tight-fitting shirt? Feeling bloated? Check out my size 6 quasi-blue jean/pants...you can cuff 'em and wear with boots...coupled with the belly-hiding jacket. Past bloated and onto 'face the music-you've put on weight'? Why don't you go for my size 10 skirts? These will make you forget all about your inability to suck it in. Slip on the Large blouse and you'll be styling in your new 'bohemian' look...hey...works for me!

So now I have a closet full of nothing to wear and I have it in every size. I can't get rid of the small sizes because those are the cute clothes (nevermind the fact that not only do they not fit but they look as if they never ever could have ever fit me and will never ever ever fit me again...at least not in the same way). I don't want to keep the larger sizes because ... well...because they're large. I don't know why I have so many different items because I really only wear my pajamas, my velour sweat suits, and my two black mix and match combos. I feel safer in winter because I stay bundled up (which is quite the challenge these days as the weather is nowhere near the "wear fleece" end of the themometer).

I'm starting to "listen to my body" --not because all of the magazines tell me to--but because I can actually hear it. It moans and groans every time I have to get up...or get down. It creaks if I bend and it flaps if I run. Basically it is screaming at me to get active and get back in shape. And so, I come before you today, declaring that I will actively attempt to get into shape...I just can't decide which shape that is.